more gender options?

in Site Feedback & Ideas

Non-binary
6,875 posts

     

ems • 1 October 2016 at 10:52 PM

EDIT: this has been resolved! eggcave 3.0 will have somewhere around 50(?) gender options!! thank you everyone for your support!

this is kinda scary to talk about whoops

i have a proposal though! instead of having just male, female, and hidden, maybe we should have a 3rd option for people who don't fall on the binary?

i was thinking since there's a lot of non-binary identities, instead of having a drop-down menu with options we could have something where you fill it in? & maybe a drop-down menu for pronouns or something. or to cover all the non-binary genders, you could just use "non-binary" as an umbrella. though i'm not sure if everyone's comfortable with that?

i mean i guess don't mind leaving my gender as 'hidden' or anything but it just kinda sucks not to have an option that fits me, since i'm not exactly hiding the fact that i'm agender or anything.

Suggestions:

- have a fill-in option for gender (this may not work due to the fact that some people would use it as a joke and identify as 'pizza')

- keep the drop-down gender options, add in "non-binary" as a third option to use as an umbrella term for anyone who does not identify as male or female (add in a drop-down for pronouns as well)

- instead of a drop-down menu for genders, have gender icons(?) and a drop-down option full of commonly used pronouns (he/she/they/ze/xe/eir)

Non-binary
23 posts

     

cokealoka • 1 October 2016 at 11:14 PM

i agree!

Non-binary
6,875 posts

     

ems • 1 October 2016 at 11:16 PM

@cokealoka adshfjk that's good to hear!!! to be honest i was super nervous about suggesting this lol so thank you!

Female
258 posts

     

spectaclenest • 1 October 2016 at 11:26 PM

@ems i really support this! very important to have visible options for all identities.

Non-binary
6,875 posts

     

ems • 1 October 2016 at 11:30 PM

@spectaclenest it's good to have your support!! ;0 do you think having non-binary as an umbrella term is alright or do you think just having a fill in for gender is better? i just don't know how many people are comfortable with that :T

Non-binary
248 posts

     

captaincookies • 1 October 2016 at 11:33 PM

@ems

I love it! But I feel like it would be too easy for someone to abuse the replacement of a drop down box with a fill-in kind of deal. I'm all for acceptance for everyone, but I feel like at least one person is going to put in as identifying as a cheese pizza, or an attack helicopter or something.

Non-binary
6,875 posts

     

ems • 1 October 2016 at 11:39 PM

@captaincookies oh that's really true haha

keeping the drop-down menu would probably be the best, then! i guess we could probably start including a few more common nb genders and maybe add more as they're needed or something? there's just........a lot of them out there. i'm not sure i even know all of them :")

Gender Fluid
1,075 posts

     

thebrokenvibe • 2 October 2016 at 12:14 AM

@ems I'm all for a non-binary umbrella option, although there are probably a few people who would use a fill in option to be rude.

2 posts

     

ghostly-imbecile • 2 October 2016 at 12:18 AM

@ems i agree 100% having more gender options would be super wonderful!!!!!

Female
1,034 posts

     

momokie • 2 October 2016 at 2:56 AM

@ems This is an amazing idea ♡

@Ian please please look into this. Its so important. ☆

2,403 posts

     

evolutary • 2 October 2016 at 4:23 AM

@ems I definitely support this! ❤ī¸

I feel like every site these days should be having more gender options, since I think more and more people are becoming aware of non-binary genders and how male/female is a social construct.

Male
660 posts

     

veritaspunk • 2 October 2016 at 5:19 AM

@ems

What if we don't want to experience "non-binary" permutations ? As you feel uncomfortable to a degree at least with being boxed in likewise traditional prerogatives often get "lost" in the hypocritical tidal wave of this expanded assignment of identity.

As a metaphor I don't care how many rewritten study materials there is about Pluto not being identified as one of the standard planets ... Pluto to me always will be. That is part of my identity.

I just think like an equation what consideration is done to one side demands consideration to the other[s] ..or disparity and alienation will ensue/continue.



@evolutary

I believe everyone in a particular community and enclave should be allowed to manifest their particular humanity and interaction of life overall as they see "fit" as long as it does not encroach on another community ... this is of course easier said than put into practice 😉

One size really doesn't fit all 😋




2,403 posts

     

evolutary • 2 October 2016 at 5:57 AM

@veritaspunk I agree! People should be allowed to freely express themselves/identify with who they are as long as it doesn't harm anyone else or a community. 😊

Female
258 posts

     

spectaclenest • 2 October 2016 at 11:52 AM

@ems i think that non-binary is a really great third option, it's loads better than "other" which is the third option i usually see. but it's not my opinion that matters really; it's yours and everyone else's who are looking for this type of representation so i hope more chime in!

@veritaspunk all of those big words just to say you're closed-minded. what a terrible shame, because you've got the right idea!
"I just think like an equation what consideration is done to one side demands consideration to the other[s] ..or disparity and alienation will ensue/continue."
to use your terminology, currently two 'sides' have been given the 'consideration' of gender options, male and female. this post is to ask for that same consideration to be given to everyone who does not identify as one of those two sides. just as you said one size doesn't really fit all: even though the binary has two sides, it's still one size lol. nobody is suggesting that we would replace or remove male and female as options, just include another option as well. so no need for fears about getting " 'lost' in the hypocritical tidal wave" 😊

Non-binary
6,875 posts

     

ems • 2 October 2016 at 12:50 PM

@momokie @evolutary @spectaclenest aaa thank you very much for the support! it really means a lot too me! ❤ī¸

@veritaspunk

To reiterate what spectaclenest already said: I'm not asking for a replacement of the binary gender options! I'm really just aiming to make this site more inclusive of people who identify in a way similar to myself!

What you said got a little convoluted and confusing to me, but we aren't looking to erase binary people at all. As you very well put it "one size really does't fit all." The binary genders don't fit everyone (like myself!) so I'm simply looking for a solution to have EVERYONE (that's binary and non-binary people) included!

"Hidden" doesn't reflect my gender at all. I'm not "hiding". In fact, I have it very clearly stated in my bio that I'm agender and use they/them pronouns! 😉 It'd just be very nice to have a 3rd option, even just the "non-binary" umbrella term, because I'm very open about myself and how I identify, as I'm sure at least a few others are.

EDIT:
Reading through that again, it makes a little more sense. I think what you're trying to say is that binary genders will get lost in the "tidal wave" you referred to, but that actually isn't the case at all. Inclusion of people like me doesn't erase you at all, actually. Including more genders as options and letting people express themselves doesn't make you less male, or wash away your identity. Including everyone is just that: including everyone. I'm want to stop erasure of gender identities that aren't of the binary--so it would be very counterproductive to erase binary people in the process.

All of that aside, though, it's really exciting to see so many people backing this!! :,)

Female
258 posts

     

spectaclenest • 2 October 2016 at 1:39 PM

@ems i'm glad for the support too i'm sorry to think that you were nervous posting this in the first place ☚ī¸

Non-binary
23 posts

     

cokealoka • 2 October 2016 at 5:04 PM

maybe instead of posting genders we could use gender icons, like furvilla does?
and we can have a drop-down list of the more common pronouns :'D like he/she/they/ze/xe/eir
i totally understand being nervous about this kind of thing! posting about it makes me a little nervous too tbh ;;

Non-binary
6,875 posts

     

ems • 2 October 2016 at 5:15 PM

@cokealoka
i really love that idea! that definitely fixes the issue of people using a fill-in option to be rude. i'll add that into the first post to make it more organized.
though i've never been on furvilla, so i'm not sure what you mean by gender icons :0c that may still cause a problem because of how many different genders there are (and how there's a symbol for each one of them i think lol). that's assuming they're similar to the ones here.

Demiboy
2,368 posts

     

ethereality • 2 October 2016 at 6:10 PM

@ems I've been thinking of posting this since a few years, but I've neither had the time or bravery to post this. Thank you for bringing this to light ❤ī¸

Non-binary
6,875 posts

     

ems • 2 October 2016 at 6:52 PM

@motivecat

it's no problem! i'm really really glad to hear that there's so many people who support this, and i'm glad i gathered the guts to bring this up since it seems to me that it's something a lot of people have wanted to do!

Non-binary
23 posts

     

cokealoka • 2 October 2016 at 7:26 PM

oh! well i'll just tell you, it's mostly like the venus/mars symbol with variations! like there's a blank circle, or one with the venus/mars symbol combined, or a circle with a line through it, stuff like that!

Male
660 posts

     

veritaspunk • 3 October 2016 at 7:40 AM

@ems @spectaclenest

I think it takes "bravery" to have a traditional "binary" prerogative in this modern age. I don't want to participate in any "non-binary" function ... I don't think any thing I said was "closed-minded" ... It comes down to choice and that is not something I thought those seeking inclusive attitudes wanted to indict another person on hehe it's absurd really.

An example would be just because someone chooses to have vanilla instead of the rainbow ribbon swirl doesn't mean they harbor this authoritarian ill will towards those having that flavor .. it just means in that moment or in their daily choices they want to/chose remain true to what is more suited to them ... ya know their flavor isn't really infringing on your consumption, or representation within your day.

This is about profile options not a wholesale "non-binary" change to the site so I am all for it ... it's your profile not mine just like that vanilla ... I can still have the rainbow ribbon swirl ...

"Closed-minded" ? nah

😊 Be you, I'm going to be me ... those that dictate to either of us that's the problem that's where progress in our shared humanity gets impeded and "minds close" ... but egg cave is far from that dogmatic tumblr outpost etc .. let's keep it that way for the sake of ALL

All the best :-D I will not be rejoining this topic, mail is open if you're so inclined ... more gender options to the profile so you can be you - I 100% support. ❤ī¸





Female
89 posts

     

lzumi • 3 October 2016 at 2:41 PM

@ems - This is a really important idea. I hope Ian takes huge consideration because it's such a relevant topic, and it will please so many people who's gender identity doesn't fit within the boundaries of male and female. I really admire you for speaking up! 😊

@ayase - Elicchi, you should see this! It's amazing, don't you agree? ❤ī¸

Female
258 posts

     

spectaclenest • 3 October 2016 at 2:46 PM

@veritaspunk glad you changed your tune! one stone i can't leave unturned no matter how hard i try:
"I think it takes 'bravery' to have a traditional 'binary' prerogative in this modern age."
☚ī¸ this is a very dangerous attitude. every life is difficult and requires courage and deserves respect, but no-one is brave for adhering to a norm that punishes those who fall outside it at worst and excludes them at best. you and i are at an advantage because our options were already listed. it took an amazing amount of bravery to ask for more, courage that we never had to work up just to get through signing up. i think the fear that a lot of people posting expressed shows just how strong their courage is. thank you all. it makes me sad to hear so many are scared to post about this, we need to work harder to replace that fear with the knowledge that egg cave is welcoming and safe for everyone. but a problem can't be fixed until it is acknowledged.

Non-binary
6,875 posts

     

ems • 3 October 2016 at 7:11 PM

@cokealoka ahh that makes sense! thank you for clarifying ;0 again, though, with as many genders as there are idk if that'll be helpful lol

@lzumi aaa thanks for your kind words! it's really relieving to get this much support!

@veritaspunk i'm glad to hear that we got the misunderstanding cleared up!! it's good to have your support too. all the best. (gotta say i still disagree with you on some points you made, but as spectaclenest already addressed that i'll leave it be.)

@spectaclenest i don't have much else to say other than thank you for saying that! that's exactly what i wanted to address in response to veritaspunk, guess you beat me to it though. well said!!

Non-binary
1,318 posts

     

raccoon • 3 October 2016 at 8:19 PM

@ems

I'm all for people finding a way to identify themselves, though like it's already been discussed a 'type in' option is a gateway for trolls. Non-binary as an umbrella term could work. Though as for the pronouns I think those are best suited for profiles.

//pokes own profile

Overall I think it would be a wonderful addition to Eggcave but i'm not exactly sure how to include everyone in a way that can't be exploited.

(think of all the attack helicopters and harambe genders there would be... //shudder)

Female
2,299 posts

     

metaphor • 4 October 2016 at 3:53 PM

If someone wants to identify as pizza or a helicopter or a wombat just to be funny, I'd say let them. I don't think they're trying to be offensive or anything. Maybe somehow one of those words really is closely tied to their identity. Who is anyone to judge? 😋 I know of one site that lets you select your own gender. They even have an option to make up genders for pets (I think it's a cash shop perk or something). Definitely don't think we should go that far, but I don't think it'd hurt to give people options.

Male
1,987 posts

     

Ian • 4 October 2016 at 4:33 PM

We absolutely love this idea and are putting it in Egg Cave version 3. Absolutely. 😊 In fact, I just coded it.

❤ī¸

Love you guys! Thanks for being courageous, all.

Female
1,034 posts

     

momokie • 4 October 2016 at 5:54 PM

@ems

Thank you for bringing this up, im so excited that @Ian decided to impliment it ♡

This is so important, my heart is so happy. On Ians facebook update about V3 he said it will include over 50 gender options ♡

Female
462 posts

     

megadash • 6 October 2016 at 4:07 PM

I would recommend that, if you don't want to use the "Hidden" option, that it be changed to "Other." That would cover all other options, including "Choose not to say." Too many non-dating game sites are doing this and many people are doing so to start fight among players.

My second option, and actually prefer altogether, is to just remove the whole Gender area together. Eventhough I'm a straight female and prefer "female pronouns," I've never had a problem with people referring to me in other ways because my "identity" is not important to sites like this. If we removed all player gender identification, we could avoid this quagmire completely. Players could still put this in their profiles, but that would be by the player's choice.

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