Sweetvetch the Aureia

potential trigger warning: sensitive topics ahead (struggling with mental illness, ect)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
HI THERE!
if you're reading this, I'm going to assume it's because you checked out the "feeling alone?" tab of my cove. As my cove has grown, it's become important to me to utilize all that extra space!
So. I want to use this space to tell you that if you've been struggling with feeling alone, hopeless, or misunderstood...

I get it. I see you.

The past few weeks, months, and even years have become increasingly difficult for all of us, but for some people, it's hitting harder than others. Maybe you're struggling financially, medically, or emotionally. Maybe you're going through something that nobody in your life is able to understand. Maybe you're weighed down with school, or burned out from giving everything you have to a job that doesn't appreciate you.
Maybe you just want somebody to see that you're trying your hardest.

I get it. I see you.

The times that we're living in aren't easy to navigate by any means. We're on the verge of a climate crisis, there's war, poverty, inequality, animal cruelty, sickness, pollution...
it can be hard to have any optimism when reading news headlines. Watching the world seemingly fall apart would weigh on anyone, but maybe it's been extra difficult for you. Especially when you have your own issues to deal with. The future seems bleak, and you're struggling.

you are not alone.
maybe you've heard it said before by people who didn't understand, and you found it difficult to take them seriously.
I mean it. You are not alone.

When I was 19 years old, I attempted to take my own life. I felt overwhelmed by many of the feelings that you're feeling right now, and I didn't believe that things could ever get better for me. I was going through a really messy breakup at the time, and I was alone in a city where I had no friends and no family. I was stuck in a job that cared more about profit than people. There was no possible future I could see where I would end up happy.
Thankfully after a hospital stay and some therapy, I was able to come out of that experience grateful that I had failed. I learned that it's impossible to have a happy future without creating one for yourself.

For me, that meant moving back home, finding a therapist that I love, and starting medications. It also meant going back to school and learning how to take care of myself.
Eating meals instead of skipping them, showering when I felt gross instead of wallowing in self loathing, brushing my hair daily, making my bed, taking my medications daily, making a to do list and celebrating the things I was able to get done. All those seemingly insignificant things were little baby steps on the path to feeling like a person again. With enough of those baby steps, I ended up miles away from where I began.

Those tiny steps are different for everyone, but I promise that you have the strength to start taking them. You only have to take one baby step at a time, and after enough time, they're just steps.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that your problems will magically vanish. It's very likely they won't. There will always be problems and bullies and villains in this life. BUT. Every time that life knocks you down and you get back up, dust off your shoulders and keep going, those problems will become smaller and smaller. You get stronger. You become a positive influence simply by deciding you will keep going in spite of it all, and heaven knows we all need more positive influences.

There are still going to be bad days. I have MDD (major depressive disorder) and every single day is hard. It's exhausting just getting out of bed a lot of the time. I'm not going to give up though, because I want every one of us who's struggling to end up happy and healthy. We deserve that. I'm working for a future that I can be proud of and a world that I love. It will never be perfect, but if people like us don't fight to make it a little bit better, who will?

There is enough emptiness, enough loss, and enough heartbreak in this world without losing you.

you might feel lonely, but I promise you aren't alone. ❤️