-------------- the Cosmomon

My favorite SCP quotes:
SCP 109: "It has come to my attention that new class D personnel are often dared to empty the bottle. Guards are reminded that they are to discourage such activity, and inform them that SCP-109 is bottomless. Chanting 'Chug!' repeatedly is considered unprofessional." — Dr. Klein

SCP 038:
Addendum #1: Dr. Klein has requested that personnel discontinue the cloning of items from the vending machines. (See Document #338-1)

Addendum #2: Dr. Klein has requested that personnel discontinue the cloning of personal items. (See Document #338-1)

Addendum #3: Dr. Klein has requested that personnel discontinue the cloning of movies and music. (See Document #338-1)

Addendum #4: Dr. Klein has requested that personnel discontinue the cloning of cans of Miller, Budweiser, and Foster's. Dr. Klein has furthermore expressed customary disapproval of the quality of such cloned items. (See Document #338-1b)

SCP 128:
So all the talk about us having the ghost of a telekinetic hamster in containment should stop. It's inaccurate.

CArgent: They're ridiculous! It's basically "give it toys but take them away whenever someone enters the chamber just so it can fire the researcher's clipboard through his skull"! I've had to fill the room with foam pillows and send janitorial D-class in there in full battle armor just to clear the body away! The site director says that's not the first time, and I just…

CArgent: What am I supposed to do?

RodArg: You need a constant linear momentum without center-of-mass vector positioning in the containment chamber? And the controller entity of the momentum field demonstrates some familiarity with objects?

CArgent: Yes.

RodArg: It's a hamster. Give it a wheel.

CArgent: It's not a ham- …That's why you're the biologist and I'm the physicist. Thank you.

RodArg: You're still the smart one with the promotion, sis. You're welcome.

Fake SCPs:
SCP-7100 (This number everyone else used so go with it.)
'Frisky'
Object Class: Euclid-Keter.
Item seems to be a caucasian male, with brown hair and a mustache.
Item regularly bargains with other SCPs such as 173 and 106. Object has worked with Chaos Insurgency and is debated for Keter, due to his inexplicable ability to survive every encounter and cause multiple others he has betrayed to die.
Edit: Thank you 7100 for the heart.
Second Edit: 7100 sometimes goes by the name 'Grub' to conceal his identity.