Is there something wrong with me?...

dreamer • 15 January 2012 at 12:56 AM

I can sadly say I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

I mean, sometimes in real life, I'll be saying something, and a minute later I'll punish myself and wonder how I was weird enough to say it.

Some people look at the way I write or talk or look and assume that I'm a few years older than I really am. But on the inside, I still feel like a 5-year-old.

I have a few REALLY weird quirks: One little example, I'm sensitive to sounds. When I hear things like sniffing, snoring, chewing, heavy breathing, I make noise to cover it or else I'll get the urge to hit something: Occasionally someONE.

I used to seem extremely anti-social, but I mean, I guess I'm a little better now... I get to express my feelings on this site. I've mainly grown up here. Doesn't seem like it, but if only you knew what I'm dealing with right now...

For a while I've been thinking I have issues; Maybe mental issues, maybe a VERY light and nearly unnoticable form of autism, or maybe I'm just a little crazy, but... I just can't say for sure. And I can't explain it. I can't talk to anyone without getting ticked off, and I've talked to my mom about my concerns a few times and she insists that there's nothing wrong with me.

I don't know if this is just my phase of life or something, but I just had to say it; I think I have mental issues. I just...

What do you guys think? How can I be able to tell? I mean... Is there anything you can say to help me out?

Deleted • 15 January 2012 at 1:23 AM

I don't think your like that ~.~

trish • 15 January 2012 at 1:37 AM

@dreamer I kinda feel like you too. But a different issue.

I'm very social. But I always notice when I talk I can't pronounce everything properly. And I notice that I swallow saliva frequently. And I have the WORST case of pronouncing words with 's (apostrophe S). I MAY have a lisp, but my friend has a lisp and she sounds adorable with it. I don't.


And when I go to the dentist's (<-Another word I can't pronounce perfectly), they stick a square thing in your mouth and then take photos of it right? Well, my saliva wells up and other things wrong with my mouth and I end up struggling.


So, I feel you. But mines is a little more physical.

dreamer • 29 January 2012 at 2:29 PM

I found out what's wrong with me.

I have OCD.












...

blissy • 29 January 2012 at 2:34 PM

@dreamer

I'm sensitive in the same way to sounds. Plus, a lot of my real life friends have OCD, and I see nothing wrong with that. So it's nothing to be too concerned about. 😊

I'm a bit anti-social, but only because I'm shy.

Love your username, by the by. 😋

metaphor • 29 January 2012 at 2:35 PM

Were you diagnosed by a professional, I hope?

Deleted • 29 January 2012 at 2:36 PM

@dreamer there is something wong with you. its call AWESOMENESS! no need to worry, you can cure this, just get boring. XD its okay, the crazy people have the most personality.

dreamer • 29 January 2012 at 2:44 PM

@Blissy Yeah, I guess I know a lot of people like that. I just don't like facing the truth, because OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. And the fact that I have a disorder is really upsetting me.

But I flip out. On Friday I had to sit in front of this kid who grunts and is always sick so breathes heavy and coughs and sniffs. We had to be silent and do all this work. I was absolutely spazzed out. I was about to cry, I was all shaky, and I kept purpousefully jamming my pencil sharpener so I could get up and not have to lean on my shoulder to block out the breathing.

I have to sleep with my earphones in my ears, unplugged, every night because my mom snores.

In the fourth grade we had a big test at the end of the year and everyone was sick, so they kept sniffing. An hour and a half later, I'm pretty sure I had angrily dragged my desk all the way to the other side of the classroom.

When my family is sitting at the table to eat for Thanksgivng or Christmas or Easter or something, I eat as little as I can and excuse myself from the table so I don't have to hear people chew.

On top of that, I'm shy, and everything I do has to be done in a certain order.

So it just spells out OCD. A severe case of OCD, that is.

It's not like people don't know. I can't believe I was so.... I don't know... Blind to the truth...

scarlettsong • 29 January 2012 at 3:57 PM

@dreamer

We all have big flaws. Yours just happens to have a name.

I've felt like I've had disorders before.

I do things in a weird order, and get weird feelings. It's hard to explain.

I can't cry in front of anyone, no matter how sad, or in pain I am. It's like I'm incapable of showing my emotions through sorrow. Just anger. I yell and fight with my bro a lot, and sometimes hit him. I know I shouldn't, but I do anyways. I can't help it. I yell at my Dad a lot. If my bro interrupts me while I'm on my pc, I explode. My pc matters too much to me. Too much. I can't help it, but it would be REALLY hard for me without one. Once I got so angry I broke 2 keys off my Mom's computer. Of course I'm good enough with technological things to fix it.

I feel depressed most of the time, and talk about my feelings only to some people I trust. 3 of my cousins, and my friends. My direct family has no idea. I spend 90% of my time dwelling on the past. I can't stay in a room without the door closed. It really bothers me. Oh, and I hate noise. For example, in the car, if my bro whispers something, I tell him to shut up. I can be too stubborn and hot-headed. I beat myself up over small things.

I don't like being alone.

jaywesome • 29 January 2012 at 4:02 PM

I have ADD 😸
I really don't think of it as something bad, I mean it's good to finally know why you feel the way you feel right?
That way you can do something about it. :]

solaris • 29 January 2012 at 5:32 PM

@dreamer

Your sensitivity to sounds is very interesting. I'm the same way but with textures. If something is too soft and I have to touch it, I'll have a mini nervous breakdown. I wear socks perpetually because I can't have my feet touch the floor. I also have difficulty taking glasses out of the dishwasher! The texture is so icky!

Many people have eccentricities like yours and mine. So I don't think it makes us weird, it makes us special. 😊

olimpt • 29 January 2012 at 5:34 PM

@dreamer
Im the SAME with the EXACT same sounds...And my reaction to them

Well actually everything you said, Same things happen to me too

blissy • 29 January 2012 at 5:46 PM

@dreamer

Sorry for the late reply. I was eating dinner and doing assignments and whatnot. D:

Yeah, I get severly irritated when I'm trying to do school work or when I'm taking a test and people are being annoying or keep talking. I just can't concentrate unless everything is completely silent. Which, is why I love reading books upstairs in my room by myself. 😊 I also dislike my school's studyhall because [I don't know how, since I always have a ton of work to do when I'm in that class] people have nothing to do, so they enjoy being obnoxious. But since I'm shy, I'm usually just venting with fury on the inside and don't actually do anything about the noise. =/ Which is why I also like cats, they're relatively quiet animals. 😸

solaris • 29 January 2012 at 5:49 PM

@avelaingia

Oh my goodness! Photo paper is terrible! It feels almost sticky.

toy • 29 January 2012 at 5:53 PM

It's called being a teen.

olimpt • 29 January 2012 at 6:00 PM

@toy
I have been like this my whole life
And Im not even a Teenager

dreamer • 29 January 2012 at 6:03 PM

@Toy I'm not even a teen o.O

Well... Yeah. What @Olimpt said. I've been like this for a few years.

metaphor • 29 January 2012 at 6:08 PM

What @toy said.
I went through the same crap and am 18 now, and still ridiculously hormonal.😋

And I have to ask again...You didn't self-diagnose you OCD, did you?

toy • 29 January 2012 at 6:10 PM

@dreamer
/: I was gonna guess puberty?
Some kids go through it at a younger age than others.
I doubt anything is wrong with you.
Your the smartest 10 year old I've EVER met o.o;
But, if you are really scared...
Go find help.
Ask a friend's parent to take you if your parents aren't supportive/your embarrassed.

dreamer • 29 January 2012 at 6:15 PM

@Metaphor
Well, even when I was 10. I was already extremely hormonal. But attitude-wise I was fine, except for my sensitivity to noise. I remember being sensitive to people making noise back in the third grade. That's when I was 8 or 9, which is extremely young.

If by self-diagnosing my OCD, you mean that I diagnosed it myself, then yes. I did. My parents know it too. And they try to put up with it. THey've never said a word to me about it, but you could just tell. But today, my mom just snappd. She stopped putting up with it. And I overheard her conversartion with my dad abut me being extremely obssessive compulsive, and that's when I realized.

She's talked to me before about what I'm going through now. And I would understand if it was part of that, but it's so much more. Me having a disorder isn't hard to believe.

Have you ever seen me in real life? Definitely not. I get so overboard some times that I reach out and hurt people or break things when I get frustrated. And whenever I get grossed out, I hold my neck afraid it will snap open, and when I'm anxious I tap my hands on whatever is in my reach.


@Toy Yeahhhh. I was thinking the same exact thing. xD
Well, I'm 12 now. but I was 10... at the timeeee...
I've asked my mom a few times if something is wrong with me, but she denies it.
I'll have to watch myself. Maybe control it.
That would make all of our lives a lot easier. xD

metaphor • 29 January 2012 at 6:23 PM

@dreamer

Mm, see, that's where you can run into trouble.

Please don't take offense when I say this, but it seems to be a very common these days for preteens and teens to look symptoms up on the Internet and assume they have a mental illness simply because they feel sad or have some quirk. I'm not saying it's not possible. But it'd probably be best to get a diagnosis from a professional if possible.

Adolescence is an awkward period of time. I know adults say it all the time, but they're so right. You become more aware of your weaknesses, what turns you off, and as a result grow more sensitive. It's normal.
But hey. I'm not a psychologist.