Not a good day.

briseis • 10 February 2012 at 6:39 PM

This is not a good day. Just like most days. It makes me contemplate: why do I exist if nothing good will ever happen to me? I feel as if I should not be here and to be honest, it's becoming more and more clear that this is true. I'm just waiting for a truck to hit me or for a robber to come in the night and take me out with a magnum.

sarahzafirah • 10 February 2012 at 6:41 PM

Why? I always have a good day! Except when I didn't do my homework and have to stay up at night to do it. TT^TT

briseis • 10 February 2012 at 6:43 PM

Just many different circumstances that add up over time. I would list them all, but that'd be ridiculous and unecessary.

icymuffin • 10 February 2012 at 6:43 PM

@briseis

You know why?
Because you're not alone in it.
And out there, there's probably someone who either looks up to you or at least really likes you and doesn't say a word.

Chin up! It has to rain for there to be flowers~

whitefall • 10 February 2012 at 6:44 PM

@briseis

There are always ups and downs in life. You'll get through them, stronger as ever. Whenever I'm going through a tough time, I always imagine that in a few days, it will be over and I'll be happy again c:

Everyone is alive for some reason~

briseis • 10 February 2012 at 6:44 PM

I sincerely doubt anyone looks up to me. To be honest, I'm very certain that most people would benefit from me not being there. I'd like to die honorably, but that doesn't really matter. It's me we're talking about here, not someone important or special or intelligent.

jazzyleia • 10 February 2012 at 6:46 PM

@briseis

I know you don't know me but there is someone who wishes they could be you. I'm sure you have a wonderful life and would miss everything you do if you weren't here.

Here's what i do when I'm sad: Dance! 😃

whitefall • 10 February 2012 at 6:47 PM

@briseis
Everyone has a purpose, whether they know it or not. You might not get this, but each living person has a little good thing about them, but sometimes they are the only ones who can't see it. Like umeboshi on onigiri. If an onigiri was a person, they would have a little umeboshi on their back. Everyone could see it, but them. ^^


Life isn't a crystal staircase, afterall. 😃



Mother to Son

Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor?
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So, boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps.
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now?
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.

smilies • 10 February 2012 at 6:47 PM

Being depressed is a choice people make.

sarahzafirah • 10 February 2012 at 6:48 PM

But.. I hate it when people die. Be happy! (>^^)> <(^^<)

Deleted • 10 February 2012 at 6:49 PM

I like cupcakes!

whitefall • 10 February 2012 at 6:50 PM

@enigzima
What does that have to do with anything? .-.

Deleted • 10 February 2012 at 6:52 PM

@whitefall X3 Makes me happy! Makes me glad! Every frown, turns into a gentle smile! =3

sarahzafirah • 10 February 2012 at 6:54 PM

You know what always make me happy? ONNIES. They're so beautiful!! I wish I had one. Or a Yuki. Or a Shamrue. Or an Ignis. Possibly everything on my Wishlist is cute to me.

icymuffin • 10 February 2012 at 6:57 PM

@smilies
Not always.
When people say they are depressed, most of the time it really actually means "I'm really really sad." Not "I have a psychological problem that I can't get over..." [MDD, SAD]


But yeah, we tend to exagerate saddness quite a lot. o3o

briseis • 10 February 2012 at 6:59 PM

If there's someone who looks up to me, they just be a pretty unhappy individual. Why would anyone ever admire me?

If I died, I wouldn't care whether or not I missed out on things I could have done. I'd be dead. And death is the ultimate release. I'd welcome it in exchange for the ugly body, the medical problems, the lack of social interaction and the lack of worth as a human being any day.

smilies • 10 February 2012 at 6:59 PM

@icymuffin But if you're sad, you just need to make the choice to get over it ^^

icymuffin • 10 February 2012 at 7:01 PM

@smilies
Sadness, yeah, I agree. No doubt in that.
You have to make the decision yourself :]

Depression, it's not like you can all the time :/
There's a difference...

smilies • 10 February 2012 at 7:03 PM

@icymuffin Depression is sometimes just being sad, or it's an illness, or something, right?
I don't mean it's a conscious descion ^^

briseis • 10 February 2012 at 7:04 PM

You cannot just get over sadness or depression at a snap of the fingers. That kind of ideal is extremely ignorant. Many people suffer with depression their entire lives.

balletninja • 10 February 2012 at 7:07 PM

@briseis If everyday is bad, it isn't the day it is you,
I am not saying that to be rude.
I am saying that your outlook of life is most likely causing everyday to feel awful.
Yes, there are truly unpreferable days,
but once everyday becomes one it can't just be the circumstances on that day.
As I see it you are putting up more walls than you are knocking down.
Just take a moment, to meditate, to think.
Think "How can I improve my outlook on this day?" instead of "Wow. This day sucked."
Think about all the people you matter to,
think about how magnificent it is that you were even born, out of millions of other possible lives.
Think about how you want to cherish your life 😊

smilies • 10 February 2012 at 7:08 PM

@briseis
Sometimes you lack the strength to make the concious decision to get over it ^^
I know I've always been able to get over it as soon as I made that decision.

briseis • 10 February 2012 at 7:10 PM

@smilies depression is a mental disorder. You cannot get over it without medication, and in some case medication does not work. The mind is limited. Just because you can do it does not mean others can. That is an ignorant belief, to say in the least.

Deleted • 10 February 2012 at 7:12 PM

@briseis

How old are you? if you are in Middle or High school go talk to a trusted adult or counselor or teacher. Or take to friends or parents, or someone in your community. Its great that you are talking to us here on eggcave, but you also need real help from real people that know and care about you. Never think you are worthless because everyone has something good and amazing inside of them.

smilies • 10 February 2012 at 7:13 PM

@briseis Yup! I know I'm ignorant, through and through ^^
But if you ask me, medication only seems to make it worse.
And anyone can broaden their mind. Limits in your own mind are silly to me 😋
It's a mind set.

icymuffin • 10 February 2012 at 7:15 PM

@briseis
You can. And the mind is NOT limited. And I will stand by my belief that it isn't. >3<

But what I'm saying is, not all sadness is depression. If you -Allow- yourself to think and believe that you can't get over it without medication, then you're limiting yourself.
Nothing else.

Make the decision or don't. We can't force you. Only you can hold yourself back.

briseis • 10 February 2012 at 7:15 PM

@strawberry I am 17, a senior in high school.

I have no place to go. My parents couldn't care less about me; my school counselors are always taking days off, and if I asked them for help they'd probably tell me little more than talk to a professional, which is out of the question.

I have asked for help in the past and received none. I am only posting on here because I have no other outlet at the moment.

Never think I am worthless? I beg to differ. I could name twenty people off the top of my head who think I'm not worth the dirt under their shoes. Whether or not they're "right" is questionable, but if more than one person is saying the same thing, you can infer that it's probably a truthful statement, whatever that statement may be.

balletninja • 10 February 2012 at 7:19 PM

@briseis It is a chemical imbalance really, or it could situational depression. I think you may have situational.

And yes, in some cases medicine doesn't work.
In some cases the placebos for depression medicine work better than the actual thing. Thus bringing up the belief of self healing, but that is off-topic.

Although, I do have to say the mind IS unlimited.
I believe in collective consciousness, thus unlimited mind power.
And in my belief of collective consciousness, I know that if one person is hurting, everyone is hurting.
Because we all are intertwined 😊
Call it ignorant if you want but I have an opinion as much as you do, and you wouldn't want me to call your belief stupid, right?

icymuffin • 10 February 2012 at 7:22 PM

@briseis
*jabs forum thread*
This is reaching out. Keep doing that.
It's not a one step process, getting over this. I know that at least.
I can't really explain it, but... reaching out is good

briseis • 10 February 2012 at 7:24 PM

I believe that the mind is limited. That is my personal belief, because that is what I have experienced. I have been "depressed" (undiagnosed) since around 3rd grade, and it has never changed. Despite the fact that I have "recovered" several times since then, it has never gone away. Feelings, emotions and memories are deeply imbedded into the brain and whether or not the mind is unlimited, our bodies will hold onto memories, good or bad, for the entirety of our lives, unless a degenerative disease such as Alzheimer's damages the passageways of the brain, blocking brain cells from passing through nerves and thus destroying bits and pieces of our memories.

It all comes down to science, really.