Read at your own risk.

karamel • 14 April 2012 at 12:55 PM

I've started to cry (for no apparent reason) and feel like I'm worth nothing. Well, I probably am. I'm just one girl and there are around 7 billion other people - there is a huge chance that most of them are worth than me.

I feel like I'm not doing anything HELPFUL. My usual (holiday, without school) routine is: get up, eat breakfast, change out of pyjamas, switch on laptop AND PLAY ON LAPTOP UNTIL MEALS. Eat lunch, then go back to laptop. Play on laptop until dinner. Eat dinner, then go back to laptop. Play on laptop until my parents yell at me to go to bed. Then I get ready for bed.

THEN I repeat it all over again.

How worthless I am. I'd probably be worth more if I killed myself.

Yeah, yeah, you're going to beg me not to kill myself, blah blah blah, I'M NOT LOOKING FOR SYMPATHY. No one would sympathize me anyway, as I said: I'M WORTHLESS. I try to go on with my normal life though, being as chatty, fun and best as I can. No one would even notice I'm depressed. Actually, it's likely most people don't even NOTICE ME.

So yeah. Go ahead. Insults, lies, jokes, it's all mixed up. I'm a piece of crap. No point telling me to PM or message you when I feel like it. I don't want to spread the hate. Likewise, who'd want my messages anyway?

-Kara
#kara
#rant
#risk
#depressed

1992firebirdgirl • 14 April 2012 at 12:59 PM

i feel that way all the time☹️...just to let u know u are one of my favorite people on here u do so much just to help people out ..if u ever need to talk im here

karamel • 14 April 2012 at 1:02 PM

@1992firebirdgirl Thanks :] Although you're worth more than me ;( I mean, everyone's good at something... but as always, there are exceptions, and I'm one of them, if not the only one of them.

cotton • 14 April 2012 at 1:03 PM

Don't kill yourself. Thats not gonna help anything, for sure. Who cares what other people think?

I don't know why so many people on this website are all depressed and stuff.

And stop saying everyone else is worth more than you. Everyone is worth the same, no matter what their personality. That's the truth. -__-

hayz • 14 April 2012 at 1:04 PM

@karamel

Hey, this is my schedule.


Get up whenever I want. Mostly at 7:?? o-o

Bathroom.

Not bothering to wash my face or comb my hair.

Out to ZA LIVING ROOM!

Ignore my family [Grandma or everyone else if I woke up late] and trot over to the computer.

Headphones.

Play computer and ignore them, making them think that I can't hear them through the headphones.

Lunch? Stop ignoring then. Take off headphones and walk to food.

Take food to computer.

Sit down and eat while playing.

Play until dinner or the need to use the bathroom. [I probably use it like, 3 or 4 times a day. .3.]

Come back, play more.

Wait 'till dad comes to nag me off the computer.

Go to the other computer [Laggy-ish], play more.

Stop at 10:45/11:00 to go to sleep.

83 For non-school days.

Deleted • 14 April 2012 at 1:04 PM

@karamel

Check your PM

1992firebirdgirl • 14 April 2012 at 1:04 PM

@karamel well i think u r awesome and i dont agree with anything u r saying about yourself...i dont think anybody is worthless and we all are here for a reason and have a purpose

Deleted • 14 April 2012 at 1:05 PM

I always think that about myself, because I always do the exact same thing. If everyone is good at something, I must be good at having no life. 😋

balletninja • 14 April 2012 at 1:07 PM

@karamel

So what you want me to say is "LOL YOUR A PIECE OF POOP. HAHAHAAHA!"?

Well, I am sorry. I can't say that. I would be a total hypocrite. I have those days. But don't feel bad, as kids we are so limited. Read a book, write a book, draw a picture, jog, stretch.

Do one thing every day that scares you, and you will remember it.

lily- • 14 April 2012 at 1:07 PM

@karamel
😱
I don't think you're worthless. And don't start saying you're not good at anything; I'm sure your good at something; everyone is good at something - INCLUDING you. It's just that sometimes, people find it hard to find out what they are good at.

lola622f • 14 April 2012 at 1:09 PM

@karamel I feel the same way. Maybe it can be personality disorder or depression. If you ever need to talk about it, you can always tell me.

Deleted • 14 April 2012 at 1:13 PM

@karamel
There is always someone out there who will care about you, and that you will be worth something to. It could be a person, or it could be an animal. For me, I've got my pets and my family - and if I had given up on myself in my 'year of darkness' as I call it because it /was/ dark, if only emotionally, I wouldn't have met the friends I have today, or found my hobbies growing into talents, albeit slowly.

I know you said not to, but really, if you ever want to talk, I'm here. Not to sympathize, but to listen and understand to the best of my ability. No one should have to deal with anything alone, no matter how petty they think it is.

karamel • 14 April 2012 at 1:13 PM

@cotton If I was dead, people would be able to be free from at least one depression (where you said "I don't know why so many people on this website are all depressed and stuff.").
@hayz I get up at 5AM just to go online ._. My mum literally told me I need to go to rehab because of my addiction, but the net is the only place I can feel better... ish.
@dawnie We must be good at the same thing! 😱 Maybe, um, the only people good at that ._.
@balletninja Well, everything scares me now, even waking up... I'm scared I'll start crying again. Once I start crying I... can barely stop.

(if I haven't pinged you in reply it's just that I have no response for you.)

balletninja • 14 April 2012 at 1:18 PM

@karamel Stop.
Your life is so incredibly valuable.
You have no reason to cry, as you have every option in the world in your hands.
You are the sole one who can change your mindset, you can make it better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDMzvJOu9vQ
Watch that. Watch all of them.
I found them in a time I really needed them, it may be weird at first but it will make things better, I promise.

hayz • 14 April 2012 at 1:20 PM

@karamel

Still sad?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYnsH-FMHtE&list=PL56955552AA3753A8&index=79&feature=plpp_video

Or if you're bored of that:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kExIB6_Ij4I&list=PL56955552AA3753A8&index=90&feature=plpp_video

karamel • 14 April 2012 at 1:34 PM

Will watch all 😸 Thanks :]

Deleted • 14 April 2012 at 1:41 PM

@karamel o.e you shouldn't think your life is worthless. just saying.

my schedule?
wake up at 6-7 AM.
play on my ipad
eat while playing on ipad.
go to computer.
walk outside.
go to computer again.
play.
LUNCHHH.
play.
dinner. eat.
play.
sleep.

.___. basically. i waste my vacation either playing or drawing.
and you call your life worthless.

>_.

Deleted • 14 April 2012 at 1:48 PM

U r one of the friendliest person on ec I know! U aren't a piece of crap. I will never believe that. I don't get noticed a lot either... Plz don't think about you being better off dying. ☹️

@Karamel

karamel • 14 April 2012 at 1:51 PM

@belilalas_25 I waste my vacation either sleeping or playing. At least you draw quality stuff. I can draw... STICKMEN. And you actually GO OUTSIDE AND GET FRESH AIR. I don't even nudge my windows.

@brendensteel I'll try not to... :c

Deleted • 14 April 2012 at 2:01 PM

@karamel
=A= i go outside cause my sister or my mom drags me out. not like i want to. but once i go out with my sister, who knows when i come back? o___o;;; i hate outside.

.___. HEY! I WASTED MY VACATION SLEEPING/PLAYING/DRAWING!.
and... i feel that my drawings sucks D8 there's no feelings in them and i feel that they lack something

leafpelt • 14 April 2012 at 2:01 PM

@karamel
Me: *wake up at six* Play computer

Eat pizza

get tortured by sister * ow*

Play more.

Watch TV,

Lie on the floor for no reason

EAT.

So yeah, I have no life.

karamel • 14 April 2012 at 2:04 PM

@belilalas_25 You're just being modest D: My drawings always lack something called QUALITY.
@leafpelt At least you do a variety of things! D: I just:

- Sleep
- Eat
- Drink
- Breathe
- Blink
- Occasionally smell to see if the food smells good
- Do housework (inc cooking)
- Sit at the laptop
- Type
- Click
- Change clothes
- Use the bathroom

And that's it. D:

taunter • 14 April 2012 at 2:07 PM

@karamel PLAY OUTSIDE~!

Deleted • 14 April 2012 at 2:07 PM

@karamel =A= modest? really?

people always say that D< MY DRAWINGS ARE UGLYYY.
YES UGLY. D< PEOPLE KEEP SAYING THEY LOOK CUTE, PRETTY AND SUCH. THEIR ARE FREAKING UGLY.
fake. ALL FAKE.
the drawings are nothing but mere fake emotions that were put into them. I can't draw anything with emotions. even the simplest of drawings can have real emotions. Mine? NOTHING.

*phew* 😃 there. happy?

^u^ to be honest... i'm never happy. i pretend to be.

karamel • 14 April 2012 at 2:10 PM

@belilalas_25 That's my line! D:

Deleted • 14 April 2012 at 2:12 PM

@karamel ... o-o but i'm really never happy. xD if you want me to show my true emotions, i would be killing someone right about now. ^u^

... is this your line? V
___________________________________________________________

leafpelt • 14 April 2012 at 2:13 PM

@karamel
YOU have variety.

Deleted • 14 April 2012 at 2:14 PM

@karamel
That routine you have is my EXACT routine, you must be my sister, I hope you are because I will trade anyone for my brother. But don't say that, there have been MUCH worse things. You ARE important! 😃

karamel • 14 April 2012 at 2:14 PM

@belilalas_25 No, my line is: "to be honest... i'm never happy. i pretend to be." BUT YOU SAID IT BEFORE ME

@leafpelt Most of the things I listed were life's necessities.

Deleted • 14 April 2012 at 2:16 PM

@karamel xD so... doesn't that mean that line technically belongs to no one since no one claimed it and i already used it? o-o;;