Rant.

topazgemine • 29 April 2012 at 8:25 PM

Okay, I need to rant. I am feeling very low right now and hopefully this will make me feel better. I will be ranting on various topics.

Rant one: Templates on Pokefarm.
If any of you know me on Pokefarm, you might know of "PinkGemine" a thread started by Pinkdoodle45 and I that offers templates, sprites, and other things. Recently I have not been feeling to good about my templates. Her's is so much better than mine, compared to her's mine is nothing. She is also more popular than me. She has more feinds than me and is more well known. I know I don't post that much, but I post enough that people should know me by now. I guess people just don't want to talk to me on there. I have a few people that I talk to, but not many.
I don't know, I guess I'm just jealous of her.

Rant two: Being ignored on the same site, and other places as well.
On that site, there is a chat thing. Where users can go to talk to other users on the site. I hardly ever go there because EVERY TIME I post there I am repeatedly ignored.
People go there mostly to talk to their freinds. THAT IS WHAT PMS ARE FOR! If you want to chat with one specific person, PM THEM AND LET OTHER PEOPLE GET A CHANCE TO BE RECONIZED ON THE CHAT.
It's not just there, every time I post somewhere it seems like NO ONE wants to post after me. I don't even know how many threads I might have made die after I have posted.
I feel like people just put up with me because I am there.

ivorymoon • 29 April 2012 at 9:18 PM

@TopazGemine

I somewhat know how you feel.

Whenever I'm new to anything *except here* people just flat out ignore me. Its the same with most sites. People don't know you, so they don't have anything to say.

About rant one, she is not better than you, I'm sure you are really great at making these templates you talk about. Don't be jelous.

topazgemine • 29 April 2012 at 9:20 PM

@ivorymoon

Thank you for showing concern, I understand that, but I have been on there for over a year.

Rant three: My life.

Okay, we are now going to get into personal things.

I am on the border line of 300 pounds.
I have a face FULL of acne
I have a medical condition that makes me smell

Who here thinks I lead a happy life? If you do, then you would be WRONG.

Where I live, people take one look at you and decides weather to talk to you, or to shun you. Or to bully you or not. Three times out of ten they decide to shun me, one time out of ten they decide to talk to me, and ten times out of ten they decide to bully me.

I have been bullied for ten years because of how I look.
I don't care if you believe that or not, because I'm sure some people wont.

Ten years, can you IMAGINE the emotional issues I have?

I am depressed, I can't talk to anyone, I seclude myself from others, I actually FEAR people.

I have ONE freind and she is in special education.

Everywhere I go, people have something to say about me.

My name comes out of everyone's mouth.

And to top it all off, I keep re-living the worst day of my life.
This day is the day that ended my life. The start of all the suffering. It is the first day of first grade. If anyone wants to hear it, pm me and I will tell you about it.


And they wonder why I have failing grades, I don't believe I can do anything because of the emotional damage these people have caused me.

phoenixfox • 29 April 2012 at 9:39 PM

@topazgemine I take it you are a junior in high school now?


I'm sorry to hear about your distress. I can assure you, if it ever seemed like I ignored you, it was unintentional.

I'm not as active as I used to be but I still hold a fair share. 😊

Deleted • 30 April 2012 at 1:36 PM

@topazgemine
To make you smile.. hopefully lol: My father would say, "If someone is making fun or bullying you, at least they are leaving someone else alone."

He actually said that to me lol. It kinda made me feel a lil better, but not by much.

Anywho! I know this is hard for you now, but just keep your eye on the prize (graduation) and you wont have to deal with any of those ignorant *insert very bad word here* ever again! That thought was what got me through highschool.

Also, a very wise woman once said, "No one can make you feel inferrior without your concent." Or something to that effect lol.

Don't give up on yourself!!! *hugs*

karamel • 30 April 2012 at 1:52 PM

@topazgemine @Rant-1: I cannot draw a /decent/ template to save my life (well, maybe I could, in about 1 million years time). Don't be jealous, you and her are friends, right? Otherwise you wouldn't have started a thread together. You're just not that self-confident, I bet yours are amazing ❤️ You have a talent - probably multiple ones 😉

@Rant-2: I get that all the time. Just ignore it, maybe there's nothing else to talk about, maybe they're speechless or have forgotten about the thread. I never make anymore threads because they always die 😉 Try being more social, posting on a lot more threads: if you keep killing them, it'll come to a point where people will make duplicate threads and they'll get merged with the ones you killed and people will start talking again 😉

@Rant-3: It doesn't matter about what's on the outside, because you have a wonderful personality and I love chatting with you in our conversations ❤️ If you ever want someone to talk to, I'll always be there. Well, maybe not online, but you can always ask for comfort from me and I'll get back to you ❤️ I have eczema and my fingers are HORRIBLE, my mum has made me go to rehab because of my skin-picking (occasionally skin-EATING/BITING) addiction. I'm not saying I lead a worse life than you, but you can't change your acne or smell-condition (maybe your 300lb, however I couldn't care less about your weight, just your personality ❤️).

You're a really great friend and I want you to know that. 😊

topazgemine • 30 April 2012 at 5:01 PM

@phoenixfox
I was just talking about people in genral 😋 Meep and no, I am a Softmore now. This is been going on my entire life.

@lightnigember: Wh, well I guess that's true 😋
Meep, that's true too 😋

Meep, you make a lot of good points xD And thankies 😸 *huggles* ID

@karamel

We are probley not talking about the same type of templates 😋
I will send you an excample of the ones I am talking about when I find a good excample from each of our's ^^

Meep, that is true I think 😋 But the site only allows for three duplicates of one topic

Aww, I love chatting with you too ID We both came to each other in each's time of need 😸 *huggles*

Meep, but you can hide your hands~

Meep, thankies 😸 You are a great freind too ID

I feel a little better today, maybe because I let off a little steam after getting into a fight with my mom that had to do with my feelings last night. Once I start to feel alone and depressed I am really venerable to loosing my temper 😋 Meep.

Eh, I could rant about my mom, but that will take a lot more charectors that is allowed per post. 😋

karamel • 1 May 2012 at 12:27 PM

@topazgemine 😊 ❤️ Just let it all out. You don't need to contain it all 😉 It's best to just tell it to a friend or someone who won't mind you raging (like me 😉) ❤️ Don't get too violent though (such as injuring someone xD) 😊