I know too much.

dreamer • 19 June 2012 at 9:36 PM

I know too much for my own good.

Just tell me why. Why? Why ME? What is so important about ME?!

I just feel horrible all the time now... I want it to stop. I have way too much going through my head... My dreams, my pain, my anger, my sadness, the things I'll never be able to do. Whenever I'm away from anyone I know besides my family, I feel this way. When I'm away from my friends, away from other relatives... Anyone, really.

People have told me this several times before, that I know so much and that I may be "gifted," or very smart. But I know too much about things that I shouldn't worry about. Politics, love, and pain. People who are untrustworthy. Situations that are being avoided, not solved. I tend to hold a strong grudge, and I have a large memory of the past. However, I only remember the smallest, simplest words that have hurt me or made me feel like crap.

I can't change who I am, so... What else can I do? Just wondering. :/ I've been keeping all of it to myself for quite a while and I just need to be honest with y'all. It's the only thing I feel comfortable doing.

jubjubloversboy • 19 June 2012 at 9:37 PM

@dreamer
Welcome to my life.

syndrome • 19 June 2012 at 9:38 PM

@dreamer Think of all the good things in life. We here on eggcave adore you and you have a wonderful cove 😊

zafeyry • 20 June 2012 at 6:46 AM

@dreamer
We're like opposites O_o I can't remember what I ate for dinner last night or even if I ate dinner xD And I can barely remember insults and if somebody tried to blame me I'd probably get in trouble.

dreamer • 20 June 2012 at 8:49 AM

@Zafeyry Sometimes I can have a little short-term memory loss, and sometimes I feel like I'm a complete retard, but over all I have a very good memory. X3 Like you, I usually can't remember what I eat or what time it is, et catera. I'll ask my mom a question and ask her again a minute later because I forgot that I already asked her/forgot that she answered.

zafeyry • 20 June 2012 at 1:47 PM

@dreamer
Whenever I'm in your situation I either 1: ignore it or 2: make jokes to cope with it. Neither method is all that great though :/

stellalunagirl • 23 June 2012 at 5:33 AM

@dreamer

The things you've said in the first paragraph.... it's called growing up. Everyone will eventually realize all these things, have these things running through their mind at some point. You're not the only with with big things on your mind, bad memories, past hurts ect. There are over seven BILLION people in the world, trust me, there will be plenty more people who have much bigger problems, larger worries, and live in worse conditions than you.

Second paragraph, people tell you that you are smart, good for you. Its a good thing, you make it sound like a curse. Knowledge is there for you to learn and apply to life so you get more out of it, its not a bad thing. Knowing too many things you should not worry about? Again, growing up. Everybody gets to that stage eventually, its not unique to you.

And last few sentences, "I can't change who I am, so... What else can I do?" You just answered your own question, you can't change so don't. Why would you want to change something that is good about yourself? Again, knowledge is not bad, it is only how you apply that knowledge that would affect people. Focus less on your worries, your problems and make an effort to look at others who have it worse than you.

#otf #otf