I feel like...

dreamer • 20 August 2012 at 6:51 PM

"Being Blind"

You were just a boy
Who acted like a toy,
You've lost all your friends,
I wonder how the story ends!
And I'm just a girl
Who's afraid of the world,
Filled with stupid hormones
And false love in my bones.

It's the Wheel of Infatuation;
It always creates a bad situation.
You were the person it had to land on,
It was nothing you could shake my hand on.
I used to write sweet songs about you!
Now I realize you were never true.
I always saw you and wanted more.
But I can't throw my soul through another closed door.

I remember all the times I cried,
And all the times I wanted to hide.
I grew more self-conscious with every word.
I was screaming for help, but you never heard.
I don't blame you if you blame me.
At least you're moving, so I can be free.
It was an idiotic crush in the 6th grade;
Something I thought would never fade.

I felt like such a priss
When I hoped for a kiss?
You never noticed my face!
I had my head up in space.
My friends said you were such a jerk.
They said to move on, but I said "That won't work."
My hormonal head danced through the flowers,
Now I cry about those wasted hours.

It never feels good when you start to go blind.
When you regain your sight, you never like what you find.
Next year, I'll stay off the radar.
I'll see things the way they truly are.
I'll wait a few years for something that's real.
I won't overreact, it's not a big deal!
You were just a boy who thought he was cool;
I'm not falling for anyone else in middle school.

iceyfira • 20 August 2012 at 6:56 PM

Awesome! This is the one from my profile....
Sometimes...
Life is cruel
but we always have each other,
life will go on,
As always,
But we will always remember the past....
Sometimes...
Life is cruel,
But we shall always get through it....
Life is cruel sometimes....
But we always...
Have each other....

dreamer • 20 August 2012 at 9:13 PM

"Anxiety"

Oh my gosh
I'm putting myself in pain
I'm breathing so heavily,
I feel like I'm insane.
I'm so caught up
In what's going to come.
My eyes are wide open,
I feel so dumb!!
I better not exceed the character limit in this post
If I do, I think I might explode.
I need to get my feelings out,
I'm having an anxiety overload.
I'm starting to panic, my fingers are moving,
I have no idea what I'm SAYING!
I can't control myself right right now
And my emotions keep on swaying.
I hate this
I hate feeling so weak
About what I'm going to have
To do next week
Writing is the only thing
That can calm me down
Because if I start to cry,
I think I might drown.
I'm going to drown,
I'm drowing in my own tears.
I'm going to die,
I'm being stabbed by my fears!
These demons are killing me!
They're eating me inside!
I'm so afraid,
And there's nothing I can hide.
I have no time for breathing
I just need to type.
I need to stop this madness,
I need to calm this hype.
At least my arms stopped aching
But I can still feel my own heart.
Now I'm going to lie down
And hope that the tears don't start.

Help me D:

thepells4 • 20 August 2012 at 11:26 PM

"Keeping Track (on the track)"

Sometimes after work,
When my dad gets back;
We bring my sister, and my dog,
And we walk on my school's track.
We walk as often as we can,
We walk at least a mile.
Running's never been my strength,
But it still makes me smile.
I don't even break a sweat,
And all my fears just melt away.
My heart starts to be slower,
And I feel invincible the next day.
"I can do this," I say in my mind,
And my brain starts to tick;
I stop feeling so weak,
And I stop feeling so sick.
In my mind I run and jump,
I can touch the sky!
But in real life, I can walk just as far,
Even if my spirits aren't so high.
I can do this. I know it.
Nothing's holding me back.
I feel like anything's possible
When I'm walking on that track.
The feeling's only temporary,
It never seems to last.
But when I dream, I start to scream,
And my mind moves too fast.
I need to open my eyes,
I need to get back on my feet.
For when I'm keeping track on that track,
I always feel complete.
I know I can't worry,
I know I won't die.
I'll keep walking until my feet bleed,
And I will never cry.
Victory will taste so sweet
Once I reach the finish line.
I'll fight, and I'll write, and I'll walk,
And the trophy will be mine!

dreamer • 23 August 2012 at 7:24 PM

"Confusion"

So much confusion,
Is this an illusion?
It's dark and bittersweet,
While I'm broken and incomplete.

It's not worth the frustration
When you feel like you're fighting an entire nation.
I wish I was free to spread my wings,
To fly to the magical, mythical things.

I want to feel like I belong,
But when I listen to another song
I feel angrier, and more alone.
I'm a monster in a rage, and I'm on my own.

I'm always worried, I'm always in a rush
But I like to use my mind as a paintbrush.
I paint my words on another page,
I express my dreams, I express my rage.

My lips are sealed, and I've thrown away the key
My fingers keep typing: Who will I be?
Who will I be?
Is there nothing to see?

There are several reasons
That there are changing seasons.
When I find out why I'm here,
Maybe I can fight this fear.

My life is flashing before my eyes;
All I can see are disappointments and lies.
I'm always wishing that this will all STOP,
But I'm too weak to make it to the top.

Or do I not know that I'm far too strong?
Am I too clever, can I move along?
I'm always hearing stories about my gifts,
But I start to not believe them while the world shifts.

I'm always confused,
And I lost because I snoozed.
So much imagination, so many words unspoken;
But I don't want to be fixed, even though I'm broken.

thepells4 • 23 August 2012 at 11:52 PM

"Stars"

Darkness
Without a bless
I always see less
And you never say yes.

Daylight just reminds me
Of another missed opportunity
I'd rather not see
All the pain, the misery.

I'll sit on my bed,
I'll watch the sun go down.
Then the night will arrive,
And I'll stick around.

My only hope is the stars
They take away the scars
Like headlights on passing cars
And my mind's all the way up on Mars.

I sit, and I wait.
I listen to the hate.
I pray for a change,
And a clear mountain range.

My wishes are bizarre,
And I want to go far;
I don't want to see another car,
I'll just keep chasing that star.

Three, two, one.
I don't want to see the sun.
I'll wait until the day is done.
I'll close my eyes, and then I run.

The beast in my heart is locked in a cage.
I'm protecting my soul, protecting my rage.
The beast hangs in shackles on a cold prison wall.
She screams and howls, but no one hears her call.

I really don't mean to lie.
There's more to me than meets the eye.
I'll force myself not to cry
Oh, but how much do I have to try?

I stand up on a grassy plain
I spread out my arms and welcome the pain.
I can feel the change, and I feel the power.
But it's all over in an hour...

I open my eyes to the morning light.
There's not a single star in sight.
I want to scratch, I want to bite.
But I'll close my mouth and continue the fight.