I think I understand what my problem is.

metaphor • 21 September 2012 at 6:09 PM

That is, why I become so freaked out over going to conferences about my papers and such. I just don't like talking about my writing, at all. Whether it's an assignment or the little things I write from time to time...nope, can't talk about them. I'm not sure why; maybe it's this feeling of revealing secrets or emotions I'd prefer to keep buried. Maybe that's why it took me so long to break out of the purple prose phase, even after knowing it makes for horrible writing. BECAUSE I'M AFRAID TO EXPOSE MYSELF

I remember when I went to that writing workshop the summer of my junior year of high school. It was an overnight program, and at the end you were able to perform it in front of parents, instructors, etc. Well, guess who froze up and couldn't read? ME! So the professor read it but the whole time I kept my ears covered because I just can't stand being in the same room as my writing when it is being reviewed and judged. After, people came up to me and asked me what I meant there, and my dad did this too. To the strangers I don't even really remember what I told them, but when my dad asked I freaked out and said I don't really know how to explain it. Luckily, my mom understood and explained.

But it's just...ugh. SEE, REASON 9494923949 WHY I DON'T WANT TO WRITE FOR A LIVING!

Deleted • 21 September 2012 at 6:18 PM

@metaphor Just get deep into what you're reading outloud and then you won't notice yourself talking. Do you think this would help? Because it does with me.

metaphor • 21 September 2012 at 6:52 PM

Well, it's just explaining my work in general that bothers me. I actually did make it through a poetry reading once. No idea how, but I just looked down at the page, read my poems, and it was done.



I actually am feeling a bit better now. I just got this:

Dear Ms. -insertmylongashecklastnamehere-,



We are pleased to inform you that your poem, "--Piece Name Here--" has been accepted for publication in the 2013 edition of Roanoke Review. The Editors were extremely interested in and impressed by your work.



Please reply with a short, one paragraph author?s biography, including exactly how you want your name to appear in the publication.


Sorry to brag, but...I've been trying to get this piece somewhere for months. And it's actually going to be published somewhere with a low acceptance rate.

Deleted • 21 September 2012 at 7:10 PM

if i were you, i'll just leave lol
i'm very rebel in that way. if i don't like something, i satnd up and go away! let the people understand what they want, they'll misunderstood anyway 😋

metaphor • 21 September 2012 at 10:13 PM

@kizber

Might be a little hard to do when it's for a class, but I get what you're saying. xD