Hello! A bit of help with an essay for writing class, anyone? c:

ice • 12 November 2012 at 7:39 PM

I'm doing an essay on literary elements in a story.

My teacher underlined the following sentence:

Literary elements that improve the story include subplots, parallel episodes, and irony.

She added a note that said "Parallel structure".

Please explain? o-o;

She also underlines:

Parallel episodes are found throughout the story. One parallel episode is when

There are many examples of irony in this story. One example is

Does anyone have any suggestions to improve these two sentences (both are at the beginning of the paragraph)?

eclipse • 12 November 2012 at 8:00 PM

Anyone?

crescentfeather • 12 November 2012 at 9:30 PM

:/

metaphor • 12 November 2012 at 9:32 PM

@crescentfeather

Add me! I'm a literary element. c:

No, anyway, I think she may have been talking about your sentence structure, as in your list of concepts (subplots, parallel episodes, and irony) do not match in terms of number. That makes no sense when I explained it, but let me put it this way:

Subplots is plural.
Episodes is plural.
Irony, on the other hand, is not plural.

So a suggestion for revision:


"Literary elements that improve the story include subplot, parallel episode, and irony."


Now all the nouns in your list are singular.
Hope that helps. I'll look over the others as well.

"One parallel episode is when There are many examples of irony in this story. One example is"

I'm not quite sure what is going on with that first sentence. Did it get caught off after "when"? From what I can tell, though, the issue seems to be that you started two different sentences very close together with the same word (one) when you probably could have combined the sentences with a conjunction or phrase, making it complex or compound. Also, the wording of the first sentence (one parallel episode is when) is a bit confusing. What parallel episode? An example from a story? Your diction should be a little more precise.

...but idk, maybe I'm just babbling like an idiot and overthinking all of it. o.o

silver_winged • 12 November 2012 at 9:41 PM

@ice @eclipse @crescentfeather

I think maybe your teacher was commenting on the phrase "parallel episodes". I've never heard that term before, and I've seen my share of literary analysis. Most often it's called parallelism or parallel structure. Maybe s/he just wanted you to adjust your vocabulary?

crescentfeather • 12 November 2012 at 10:11 PM

@silver_winged No, parallel episode is the way she taught it x3

@metaphor xD

Thanks! 😋


Parallel episodes are found throughout the story. One parallel episode is when

There are many examples of irony in this story. One example is

These are actually two different sentences. I cut them off because the rest of the sentence is long and boring and I was too lazy to type the rest. xD They're both starting sentences for two other paragraphs in my essay.

My actual essay is something like:

Parallel episodes are found throughout the story. One parallel episode is when blah blah blah...

(new paragraph) There are many examples of irony in this story. One example is ...

metaphor • 12 November 2012 at 10:13 PM

@crescentfeather

Oh, I see. I'd suggest trying to combined both ideas into one sentence, trim down the long one, but watch out for run ons! I can look at more of the essay if you'd like.

crescentfeather • 12 November 2012 at 10:22 PM

@metaphor How would you suggest combining "Parallel episodes are found throughout the story. One parallel episode is when... etc."? ._.;;;

metaphor • 12 November 2012 at 10:24 PM

@crescentfeather

Maybe you could simply try:

"One example of a parallel episode in [story] is when..."

crescentfeather • 12 November 2012 at 10:30 PM

@metaphor Thanks! 😃