You know you might be rather down

metaphor • 13 September 2013 at 1:54 AM

when you could stand to watch one of those over-the-top kiddie kind of shows that are all like, "BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!"


I don't believe in myself. I don't believe that I can write anything academic with substance. I don't believe that I can skillfully synthesize sources. I don't believe anything.

/endrant


This, too, shall pass.

And this will do for now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQuz_gUGW4s


Just so this doesn't get locked as Shoutbox material, let me put some substance here.

What do you do for yourself when you're down?
You know what I learned about myself recently? I learned that I don't write to express myself; I write because of the incredible power it gives me. I get to control language; I get to wrap one feeling into a bundle of words and oh my gosh, it's a beautiful feeling.
So I try to remember this.
And then I pace.

sony • 13 September 2013 at 11:27 AM

@metaphor
I'm still kinda confused, sorry I am stupid!
But I think I somewhat get what you're saying! I'm not good with comforting so forgive me if I said anything wrong.

It's true that those talent shows for kids, THEY MAKE US FEEL BAD D8 But everyone has their own talent, perhaps neither of us are the kids who are good at singing, cooking or dancing, but we are good at other stuffs, no matter what they are!

It's sad that you don't believe in yourself, because if you do, you'll be able to do tons of amazing things.
I think you're good with words, I see your posts on the forums sometimes and the words, the expressions, the sentences were beautifully written with advanced words that I couldn't even figure out myself xD

Hmm, I just listen to music when I'm down, and perhaps do more homework, and think o.O
But I try to keep myself as positive as I am, especially when I'm on the Internet, just don't want to make people feel my virtual pain! xD

And gosh, please feel good about yourself, you're more amazing than you think you are! ❤️

metaphor • 13 September 2013 at 3:44 PM

@sony

I'm mostly talking about those kid shows that, think--I don't know, Clifford the Big Red Dog and Nick Jr. Shows--always try to drive home the message, "you're special just the way you are, believe in yourself, etc." Even as a kid, I never particularly cared for this formula; it came off as insincere and even condescending. But now, I kind of feel as though I need to revert back to my 8-year-old self and let a big, red dog tell me how great I am. XD blah

One movie that I do love to watch as a pick-me-up is Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium because it just has this "take control" feeling to it that I love. I can relate to the main character, the pianist who can't write her concerto and who feels "stuck" in life. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and that really freaking scares me. I'm not some grand genius sent from above, and like everyone else around me, I'm uncertain. I'm told again and again that it is normal, but I just can't help feeling intimidated and comparing myself to others and imagining how much better off than me they will be because they just have certain qualities that I do not. I compare myself to people I don't even know, who have come up only in conversation. I'll never forget that time when I was a freshman in high school and I was an idiot and told my History teacher that I like to write. He then proceeded to tell me about this freshman student he had, who went above and beyond on every assignment and wrote right at the college level.

Guess who went home with her tail between her legs that night? Guess who mourned over the idea of not being the best, of having to beat this unknown person to prove something to myself somehow? To make a long story short, I burned myself out trying and was never happy with my work. I tried too hard, and it showed.

I still kick myself every time I think of that. How stupid I was.
And here I am, still trying to be the best, feeling so inadequate sometimes because my best may not be good enough.

I hope that made sense. I've been feeling so inarticulate lately.

And that's kind of you to say, but are you sure that's me you're thinking of? I am not very eloquent around here. Heck, I think the 14-16 age group around here expresses itself much more skillfully than I do. I do like to listen to music when I'm down, though. My favorite songs for that are "Put your Records on" by Corinne Bailey Rae and "Peace of Mind" by Boston.

mellyottl • 16 September 2013 at 5:48 PM

i think there's some sampling bias.

'flaunt success, hide failure' leads to inflated data and inaccurate portrayal of the population.

sony • 19 September 2013 at 12:24 PM

@metaphor
Ouch, I'm sorry, I'm really late on replying... I missed my notification for awhile and I was suddenly reminded of this topic again today o.O So yeah, I'm sorry!

Anyway...

Oh you mean those shows, I thought you were talking about talent shows where kids just make us look bad with their amazing tricks and acts that I'd never be able to do.

Don't worry, people have their moments, and sometimes, everyone just feels bad about themselves for simply nothing; perhaps you can't realize how valuable and special an individual is now, but you will in the future.

You know, people aren't really what they look like, to you, they're maybe superstars, but in fact, they can be struggling from other stuffs, no one has a perfect life. So just stop beating yourself up, and stop all the comparisons, you're not like anyone, and no one is like you. People in this world make mistakes all the time and it's ok for you to do it severely, or usually, doesn't matter, we're all human-beings, and there are still tons of chances to improve ourselves.

I hope that made sense... Because I'm terrible at expressing thoughts and opinions, I just can't seem to find the right words >.<

And yup, I'm 100% sure that I was referring to you.
Dear God, I ❤️ Put Your Records On, I listen to that all the time, the music is just so soothing and calm, and relaxed, I just love it, and the video, too, nice biking summer day and sun shining and just living life, aaah...
I don't know the other song though, since I only know one song by Boston, More Than A Feeling xD So yeah!

I listen to various kinds of music, sometimes they're just depressingly sad, but they can be happy, cheerful and wild at times! xD
Gahaha.