Is it wrong to acknowledge that you might have done something right for once?

metaphor • 19 October 2013 at 1:49 AM

And I am being completely serious. So please don't judge me. 😋

I had a test Wednesday, and I was sure I was going to do so badly and disappoint my professor and all that. I don't think I did that badly, and I think the essays I wrote--though they took me forever and I was the last one done--are...good. Maybe not great, but good. They get my points across, and at times, I think I might be saying something "smart."

I feel so bad for acknowledging this, though. I feel as though I'm supposed to be telling myself I'm a failure and that I'm awful and etc. I'm just not used to feeling positive about anything I do, so it just feels sort of off to me.

And then I talked to this professor. I don't even know her, really. I just emailed her to ask a question because I remember seeing something she said about a "perfect" paper. And she said what made such a paper astonishing was the student's humility.

So now feeling just a tinge of pride makes me feel even guiltier, because I know there's someone out there leaps who doesn't know he/she is great.
It kind of makes me want to cry; I feel as though I should be punished for it.
Anyone else ever feel like this?
Is it some normal human feeling? Or am I just crazy? ;P

Sorry to be all whiny. I just really have no one to talk to about this. I can get the gist across to a friend or my mom, but it's easier for me just to type out.

tobuscus3766 • 19 October 2013 at 2:45 PM

@metaphor
I think it's normal and I agree with everything you say. I felt that way on my English report. then again my English teacher is pretty dull and says things that don't make sense at times. still you shouldn't feel guilty about it or bad because if you get to down on yourself then it could lead you to other things.
I hope it helps.

@tobuscus3766

skylark • 19 October 2013 at 3:14 PM

@metaphor

No, it's so not bad to recognize you have done something "right"/great/well!


There is a line between proudness and pride/vanity!

Being proud of something is NOT bad! It is a reaffirmation of something done well in general. You are PROUD of your paper and you think you have done it to the best of your ability in your situation(time constraints, etc.).

Pride and vanity are where your proudness has gone too far. Then, you are thinking of yourself highly and put yourself before everyone else (in your case, YOU DO NOT DO THIS[and that is really good!!]).


Honestly, how are we expected to get results if we hate the feeling of being proud about one particularly good result? If we hate feeling proud, then we will NEVER work our hardest to achieve what we want because we fear the feeling too much!

metaphor • 20 October 2013 at 4:37 AM

@skylark @ tobuscus3766

Thanks, guys. Your word helped.
The past few days, I've been at war with my own crazy brain, I think. haha

My thought process has been such:

"You make everyone angry. Just stop it. Oh, that was a decent essay. Who are you kidding? You are awful. You are replaceable. Anyone could do what you do, only twenty times better. You are not the best, so just get over it. You have to be the best, though. You have to be perfect, or you can say goodbye to everyone who might respect you. See that? That's perfection. It exists. So-and-so said. It just doesn't exist for you."


...you get the point. I don't feel so much like that now, though maybe a little bit at the back of my head.
That was strangely therapeutic to write out, though.