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izziebee1017 • 22 June 2014 at 4:18 PM
@baileyamundsen14Me too. The Percy Jackson and the Olympians series is like that! 😊 Do you read that series? I am waitig for Rick Riordan to come out with the next book, (I've read all 9 books)
baileyamundsen14 • 22 June 2014 at 4:22 PM
@izziebee1017 Nope 😋 but I like suspensful stories 😸 give me one if those I'll be up all night!! lol
kreptacat • 22 June 2014 at 7:54 PM
@izziebee1017 Great!
izziebee1017 • 22 June 2014 at 7:59 PM
@kreptacatThanks.
kiryko • 23 June 2014 at 2:42 AM
@izziebee1017 I think you should do more work on it- it look like the part of something bigger 😊@baileyamundsen14 So how is it?
stellalunagirl • 23 June 2014 at 7:18 AM
@baileyamundsen14I just briefly skimmed over it but my main advice for story writing, and this goes for everyone, is to SHOW not TELL. For example, "A sense of fear invaded my thoughts." You're telling the reader how you feel, which is not as immersive as showing them your fear and then letting them make the conclusions themselves.So, rather than saying you felt the fear invade your thoughts you could perhaps say:"A niggling thought ate at corners of my mind and my stomach churned uncomfortably". Haha it doesn't have to be exactly like that, but what I'm trying to illustrate is that you show yourself reacting to the fear that you feel, rather than saying that you feel fear.Hope this helps! ^^EDIT: Also, if you enjoy suspense/thriller stories and want to write one, the showing technique is very important, as that is primarily how writers create suspense.They describe parts of something, giving you vague ideas of it but not actually telling you what it is, therefore leaving you to your own conclusions.
Deleted • 24 June 2014 at 4:32 AM
I'm going to write a warrior cat story. Where can I post it, @stellalunagirl? And where did you post yours?
hashtagnight • 25 June 2014 at 2:43 AM
SUNSET CLIFFIt started with two siblings, Yuki and John. They were both exploring far away from their house, as their parents were asleep. It was 12:00 A.M., early enough for their parents to fall in a deep sleep. As they went exploring a bit, they felt hungry. "I knew you were to lazy to pack up food!" Yuki said this, angrily. John said, "You didn't say to pack food!" Yuki then vigorusly slapped John in the face hard enough so he would have a red mark. They kept exploring despite the fact they are hungry.John then started to feel tired already. Yuri then said, "If our parents find you out here, we'll be dead already! This is why I never wanted YOU in the family!" John then woke up, as he doesn't want his parents to find him out here. Then, they heard a crack in the woods, crows flying north, they being east. Then the two siblings ran as fast as they could. As they ran, the went trapped in a pit trap. Yuri then stepped on John's head, climbing out. She didn't need John AT ALL. John yelled for help really loud. Yuri then thought of it. If she comes back without John, she would already be dead. Yuri then helped John out of the pit trap, John thanking her. They then kept going east until there was a forked crossroad."Hey, we should go left!" Yuri said, pointing at the left side. "No! I don't wanna!" John then ran towards the right side, never to be seen by Yuri. "He's a dead man." Yuri then went left, not thinking of John. He's only 6. Yuri's 19. John then activated a net trap along the way, trying to find a way out. It was no use. It got tighter and tighter. He stopped moving, finding a way to escape. He then nibbled on the old rope trap, until the rope was cut. It was still not enough. He had to cut a square in the rope net until he could get out. John screamed loud enough to get Yuri's own attention."John!" Yuri ran towards the right side and helped out her little brother. "John, always be careful when you are here. Traps are everywhere, and some are deadly." Yuri and John then walked together, until seeing a clearing. The clearing was a beach, filled with purified water, food from every part of the beach! As they walked towards the clearing, they fell towards a cliff, heading towards the beach. As they fell towards their death, they can see thier life flash before their eyes! Before death came, they fell towards the sand, breaking their fall.There it was, Sunset Cliff, the hidden beach. As the cliff was too steep and hard to escape via water, Yuri and John were never heard from anyone again. Now what did the left path lead to? Well, a destroyed house that was covered by flora and fauna. If John listened to Yuri, they would visit the house, and just leave. But since they went towards a death trap, they wouldn't dare escape AT ALL.End. 😃
eveadelekitty • 7 August 2014 at 12:08 PM
Story Character Preview! (Takes place in a magical Japan-ish setting.)Maho Noneko: A cat from a race of animal shapeshifters who can take on a humanoid form when she wants to. Across most races, you can be born with inherent magic power. Maho is one of these magic ones, and she, in her human form, wears enchanted clothes. Her signature style uses both forms, her colours are purple and black, and she likes fighting with tentacles that come out of her back in cat form and her clothes and cat ears/tail. She has black fur, one purple eye and one silver eye. Maho is pretty lazy and seems dumb, but is the strongest fighter in the town where she tries to take high school and go one year without any teachers finding out she's a cat, then passing the test that makes her unexpellable unless she did something really bad. She started a group of supernatural students, as they had been coming to the school for its lax unexpellable after the test rule.Shinu: A Valkyrie who decides not to use her battle-influencing powers for anything big. She goes to high school with Maho and is best friends with her. She has wings and slightly feathery skin, but so far the only people who notice it, Maho saps their memories of the incident. Her fingernails morph into talons when she's provoked, and a choke hold from her can be deadly.Aka: A Lamia. She is one of the few that craves human babies even after the race stopped the human child horror hunger. The only reason she's not expelled, as it's clear she's a Lamia, is that she showed off her venomous claws.Makajiki is a marlin-type mermaid. Her race studies transfiguration so that they can seem human. When they enter water, they find it harder to hold up the facade, but otherwise it happens without them thinking about it. She can create water and control it.(EDIT: Maho with the line over the O showed up as ?. Think of it as an O with a horizontal line over it!!!)
leafdapple769 • 7 August 2014 at 7:24 PM
I`m just going to post this story, `cause I`m bored. -_-Burr trotted through the trees, as sunlight sparkled over the snowy landscape. He yawned. It was way too early to be doing ANYTHING, but the smell had intrigued him. The smell, oh, how to describe it? Dewey grass sprinkled with honey, sugar, and...... fruit?Burr shook his head. Whatever it was, it smelled goood. And, he was going to find it! He quickened his pace, going into a full-out gallop. He dodged several pricker bushes, and ran into some in his haste. Something glinted in the corner of his eye. Burr turned his head. WAS THAT A TWOLEG CHANGING INTO A BEAR?!? Remembering he was galloping, he turned his head away. FENCE! He thought. Too late.He crashed right into the stupid white thing. Burr groaned.Pulling his antlers from between the boards, he looked up."What kind of dummy would put a fen-" He gasped.Right before him, stood a Gapple tree. He had only heard stories from his Mum of their existence. And, even she had said it was just an old deer`s tale. He blinked several times to see if he was dreaming or actually awake. There`s a Gapple tree in front of me, and yet a Twoleg fence separates it from me. Burr thought. What if I cross it?Ever since, Snowdew had enforced "laws" to keep troublemakers like him, out of Twoleg gardens, nothing had been fun anymore. What was the purpose of life, if you couldn`t steal carrots from time to time?Burr rose up from his position on the forest floor. He wasn`t going to squirrel out this time! He looked around. Nobody was watching him. A bunch of thoughts exploded in his mind before he could move a muscle. What are you doing?!? What if you get caught? TURN AROUND!!! This is a VERY bad idea! You`re going to die.... He shook his head. He was gonna do this, despite all of those disturbing and discouraging thoughts.Burr lifted a foreleg and set it inside the garden.He had just changed history.(If a lot of things confuse you, and you think this is a horrible story I spent an pointless half hour on, I won`t be surprised)
theanneh • 28 August 2014 at 11:23 AM
I like writing really short stories to warm up for longer projects. Really, really short stories.--It was early when she awoke. She yawned. Upon realizing she had another hour until her alarm clock rang, she promptly turned over and fell back to sleep. An hour later, her alarm buzzed loudly. She did not wake up.
appleblizzard • 28 August 2014 at 11:38 AM
here is a little bit of one that I love:"Sydney, you're acting very strange." Ivory said, "I don't understand, please tell me what's going on!" She sat on her bed with a worried look. "It's not because... It's not because you're afraid I'll hurt you with my magic, is it?" she suddenly asked, trying to figure out why Sydney would be sad about staying here for a month. She couldn't help but feel like somehow it was her fault, or that she had something to do with her cousin's mood.Sydney chocked on the milkshake that she had taken upstaires with her. "No! It's nothing like that! I'm not afraid of you - I'm afraid of myself." Seeing the puzzeled look on Ivory's face Sydney said, "look. I'll explain." She stood up and crossed the room, Ivory close behind her. They went into the spare room that no one ever had been in. "I will only tell you if you promise not to tell anyone." Sydney said as she looked seriously at her cousin's face. "I promise." replied a confused and bewildered Ivory. Sydney pulled of the gloves and threw them accross the room watching Ivory's eyes follow them. She sighed and made the same movement as Elsa and Ivory always did when they conjoured magic. Ivory's eyes widdened as she copied Sydney. Instantly, Ivory conjoured a snowfalke and starred wide-eyed at Sydney. Sydney had conjoured a flame..."Sydney, that's..." Ivory stammered. "You have magic too!" she seemed more excited than worried. "But why can't you tell anyone? It's not bad at all! In fact, you should tell my mom about it, maybe she can teach you about magic too! Just because it's a different element doesn't mean it works differently than frost magic." Ivory talked fast, she was definitely excited."No!" Sydney cried. She could see that Ivory looked let down so she hastedly said "I don't mean anything bad but I'd tell her later. Not now. I've had enough of telling people about this today." Ivory seemed to understand because she put a caring hand on Sydney's shoulder. Sydney crossed the room and bent down to pick up her gloves... only to get hit by a snowball! Sydney spun round as Ivory took more shots at her laughing. The two cousins chased each other through the castle and out into the massive garden where they lay under the blossom tree they planted together many years ago. Sydney turned her head, panting and smiled at Ivory. Maybe the month she had to spend with her wouldn't be as bad as she thought it would.
derpycelestia333 • 21 September 2014 at 1:27 PM
@baileyamunderson14Hi there, here's mine! (It's an MLP:FiM story ^w^)~Her Feathers~Unedited Chapter 1:Sunshine glowed, making the folk of Ponyville warm and happy. It was an ordinary Saturday afternoon, with couples dotted around...all except one lonely earth pony, his eyes and heart full of sadness. He didn't have a special somepony.As he continued walking, his line of thought was suddenly brought back to reality by a "GET OUTTA' MY WAY!!!" and an inaudile grumble.