Who are You? *writing*

jaidyn • 7 February 2012 at 9:24 PM

The spring washed across this barren land like the greean ocean waves. The flowers bloomed in desperation of being born into a sunlit world. Silence engulfed nature as dawn awakened, and the chilling breeze had transformed into a beautiful caress in the wind. Affection was lingering in the air, as well as a hint of calmness, as if the world had stood still and gazed at the naturality of this lifetime. So I ask you, have you taken even the smallest of looks at the things you've taken for granted? The people you've ignored, or the ones you allegedly hold close? No? Maybe now is the time to really look. To truly understand yourself, and who you really are. Look deep inside, and you'll find something you've never found before. Yourself. Your true self. Not the person you say to be, the person you are. The person you were intended to be. So ask yourself this. Who are you?

Criticism is welcome...

@bunnyshadow
@glados
@orange
@everyonelse

orange • 7 February 2012 at 9:31 PM

@jaidyn
That sad thing is...I don't know☹️

ieatburgers • 8 February 2012 at 5:19 AM

I find it a bit confusing...first you were talking about noticing others, but it ends off about ourselves 😋 I loved the description at the start though 😊 good job!

jaidyn • 8 February 2012 at 7:10 PM

@ieatburgers

Eh.

@orange

XD

lizardfeather • 8 February 2012 at 7:44 PM

I really like it =D The descriptions are pretty 😸 I have a suggestion or two though (if you don't mind) that might help it flow better. ^^


The flowers bloomed in [a] desperation [come] of being born into a sunlit world. Silence engulfed nature as dawn awakened, and the chilling breeze transformed into a beautiful caress [of] the wind. Affection was lingering in the air, [and] a hint of calmness, as if the world had [long] stood still and gazed at the [rustic beauty] of this lifetime.

So I ask you, have you [ever] taken the smallest of looks at the things you've taken for granted?

ieatburgers • 9 February 2012 at 1:51 AM

@jaidyn sorry 😋 just my personal opinion...