I'm an idiot.

briseis • 1 April 2012 at 1:33 AM

I'm an absolute idiot.

Recently I got the number of a "friend" that sometimes ate lunch with my friend group. Well, he told me he liked me---boy was I an idiot to believe that. He kept telling me how beautiful I was, how amazing I was...all B.S., of course, but I actually believed it.

We went out to eat last night and saw the Hunger Games together. He kept kissing my cheek, my nose, and my throat and whispering to me throughough the entire movie. Then I take him home and that was that.

So I tried to talk to him all day today. He doesn't respond. I finally get ahold of him, and he tells me he's so, so sorry and that he loves someone else, and that he told her today. All of that stuff he did yesterday with me, all of the things he told me---all of it was B.S. And now he's probably going to date this girl he "loves" so much, right after he tries to make a move on me.

I'm such a f****** idiot. How could I actually believe a guy liked me? We are both 18, so what? Guys will never be mature. I will never date anyone ever again. I'll believe a guy actually likes me when pigs fly.

asi • 1 April 2012 at 1:46 AM

So he was a jerk. So what? He's not worth getting upset over 😋
I know there are some boys out there who are not -
Wait.
...
...
...
No, he's a jerk too ^^
But that doesn't mean he doesn't love me 😋

If I were you, I'd let that girl know- anonymously- what complete B.S., as you put it, he is before she gets hurt too ☹️

icymuffin • 1 April 2012 at 1:50 AM

Why not enjoy the memories you've had?

It's not worth it letting a single idea run your entire life.

{And you see? You did find someone at least for once. And once means there is a chance.}

hedwig68 • 1 April 2012 at 1:50 AM

@briesis

Yah a lot of boys are immature but some aren't you just got to find one. And I agree with @asi that you should tell the girl he is dating. Don't give up yet though there is probably a boy out there perfect for you and you will find him. I know it.

briseis • 1 April 2012 at 1:52 AM

I would think that being 18 would make boys more mature. But nope. Almost all guys are the same; the good ones are always taken. What choice do I have now? Absolutely nothing.

I was an idiot to think I was actually pretty enough or fun enough or happy enough to date someone. Obviously guys aren't interested in me, so why should I ever date ever again? There's no point. I give up.

phoenixfox • 1 April 2012 at 1:52 AM

@briseis Unfortunately it doesn't get much better, Until they get much older. . . .

briseis • 1 April 2012 at 1:55 AM

@phoenixfox no guy would ever lower himself to my standard anyways. I was an idiot to believe any word he said. He never wanted me. Idk why he even bothered.

hedwig68 • 1 April 2012 at 1:58 AM

@briseis don't give up. As they say this just makes you one step closer to the right one. And I really don't think boys ever change until like they are a lot older.

briseis • 1 April 2012 at 1:59 AM

@hedwig68 life sucks. It always has, it always will. Only the beautiful and thin and perfect get what they want. Only the well-endowed or the rich can experience happiness. Why would I ever believe that I would be given even a shred of happiness or good luck? That's about as likely as me winning the lottery five times in a row.

As I said before, guys are all the same; if they're good, they're taken. Why bother?

evolutary • 1 April 2012 at 2:01 AM

@Briseis Sounds like to me that guy is doing that to everyone. One day he tells a girl how much he loves her, then the next day he moves on to another girl and tells her the same thing.

Well, (this is what my teacher said) boys' brains only mature when they reach their middle to late twenties. Some boys like to play with girls' emotions. That guy is a complete [insert swear word here].

briseis • 1 April 2012 at 2:02 AM

@evolutary he's a very friendly, nice person (he's Asian, although that probably means nothing) and he has a lot of friends. I don't think he's the kind of person to do that. He did it to me, but what guy wouldn't?

phoenixfox • 1 April 2012 at 2:03 AM

@briseis I think you're capable of more than you're giving yourself credit for. You're a highly intelligent individual who has an endless supply of compassion and empathy. You may be the one setting your standards too low to see what's outside. You have to have confidence in yourself my dear, not base self-worth on whether or not a young lad tries to find favor with you. You are someone whom no one else can be, YOU.

briseis • 1 April 2012 at 2:04 AM

@phoenixfox if you say so. Guys are just animals like anyone else. Who cares about intelligence or goodness? No one does. The good guys always lose. Why bother?

hedwig68 • 1 April 2012 at 2:04 AM

@briseis Life isn't that bad I mean yes those people get the easy lif but they don't work for it so it is never true happiness. The people that aren't rich or what people call perfect know true happiness cause they worked for it and always end up the winners in the end.

And it may seem that all the good ones are taken but that isn't true there are plenty of good one that you just haven't noticed yet. And intelligence is something.

silver_winged • 1 April 2012 at 2:04 AM

Watch me be sympathetic and harsh, all in one post.

@briseis
You're not an idiot, and you have nothing to feel bad about. Nothing you did brought this upon yourself. It wasn't your fault. It's nice to receive that kind of attention, and it does hurt to find out that the guy may not have been committed. But that's no reason to think that he was lying the whole time. Guys are fickle, and a lot of the time they're hard to understand. He's probably as mixed up about this whole thing as you are. I feel bad for you, and you have plenty of reason to feel sad right now. I'd recommend indulging yourself. Listen to some sad songs, watch a terrible movie, eat some ice cream. Get it out of your system.

If you don't want to listen to some harsh realities, I suggest not reading any further.

That all being said, you can't expect guys to be mature if you yourself aren't. You'll never date anyone again? This statement is asinine. The fact of the matter is, eventually you'll get over it. Do not be the girl we all know who condemns all men because "she's been hurt before." Do not be the girl who insists she's "soooo unattractive." Clearly, you were attractive enough for at least one guy to notice you--and you're still an adolescent. It's such an ugly, awkward phase. There are better times ahead, and all you have to do is wait for them with an open mind.

pipkitten • 1 April 2012 at 2:06 AM

@Briseis
First off, you're not an idiot. That boy is. And you shouldn't let one loser of a guy ruin your whole day and outlook on finding "Mr. Right."

Honestly, the road to finding "the one" is not an easy one. It's filled with heartbreak and loser guys, but it's also got pleasant memories and fun times to be had.

If finding love were simple and easy, it wouldn't have much meaning, would it?

phoenixfox • 1 April 2012 at 2:09 AM

@briseis I concur with @hedwig68 there are other great guys out there, that aren't fazed by petite frames and bubbly personalities. It takes a while to find them, and sometimes you have to wade through a few bad ones, to find a good one out of the bunch.

asi • 1 April 2012 at 2:09 AM

If you believe something will never happen, it lowers the chances by 99% 😋

Confidence is more attractive than any face 😋

briseis • 1 April 2012 at 2:10 AM

I'm destined to get the weirdos and the bad eggs. I always have, since I was in 8th grade. Why should that change? Either I'll attract a weirdo who's way older or a piece of s*** who doesn't even really like me. I'd prefer just to be dead. It's too bad it's hard to kill yourself.

evolutary • 1 April 2012 at 2:13 AM

@Briseis Hmm, maybe he has a hidden side to his personality, or he just changed his mind.

Many people have a hidden side within them until something triggers it and it reveals itself. Usually the person doesn't even know it themselves.

You are 18 and there's many years ahead of you to find the perfect person. There will be that person who will see you the way you are.

briseis • 1 April 2012 at 2:16 AM

Being 18 is old for not finding someone. I'm only worth dating until I'm around 25. If I don't find someone until then (which I won't) then there's no point in caring. Or living. I wish I could simply take my life right now, but I have no resources to do so. F*** my life.

hedwig68 • 1 April 2012 at 2:20 AM

@briseis My parents know people who didn't find love till 29, 34, and 30. They went through many heartbreaks but finally found love at that age.

briseis • 1 April 2012 at 2:21 AM

@hedwig68 and I'm sure they weren't ugly or fat and I'm sure they didn't look like the opposite gender even though they tried desperately hard to look their own gender. Right?

phoenixfox • 1 April 2012 at 2:21 AM

@briseis

@silver_winged points out some very key facts:

1. It's not your fault

2. Give yourself time to soothe

3. Confidence is more attractive than self-pittance.

You're being a bit hard on yourself. No one likes being thrown for a loop, it hurts, it truly does. But you need to realize that you're better than that POS and prove it. He has NO RIGHT to break down YOUR self image. YOU are invaluable, as a person, an individual, a friend. Get out there and show everyone that they are worth YOUR time, not vice versa.

pipkitten • 1 April 2012 at 2:22 AM

I usually don't post twice on topics like this, but I feel this last bit of what I have to say is important. Ignore me, get mad at me, whatever if you feel like it.


Your attitude is just like that of my aunt, @Briseis. And you know where it has gotten her? Absolutely nowhere.
Because she looks at everything like "Oh, everything bad is destined to happen to me," she has no friends. She has no money because she spends it all on booze to attempt to drown her sorrows. She can't pay her bills. It's like a little pity party for her all the time.

Do you want to end up like her?
Honestly, have a bit of confidence; look for the good in things.


That's all I have to say. *poof*

hedwig68 • 1 April 2012 at 2:23 AM

@briseis

@silver_winged and @phoneixfox is totally right and don't put yourself down like that

asi • 1 April 2012 at 2:23 AM

@Briseis Who needs boys anyway, if they're so horrible 😋 Doesn't sound like you do 😋
Well, I need my bf NOW, but I didn't need him or anyone else before we met 😋

phoenixfox • 1 April 2012 at 2:25 AM

@briseis Actually, you describe my sister, but at about 21 she finally found a nice guy of whom takes good care of her. She's 23 now, still together.

briseis • 1 April 2012 at 2:26 AM

Some people just get the better things in life. Others don't. I'm very obviously one of those people. Idk why I had to be born then, but whatever.

asi • 1 April 2012 at 2:29 AM

@Briseis Some people have absolutely everything they could possibly want, and still are depressed 😋
Some people make the best of what they've got 😋