How to respond to:

dv55555 • 2 May 2012 at 6:08 PM

I GOT ONE!

*telephoner calls*

"hello would u like a-"
ME: "YEs bob i know u forgot ur lunch honey im coming right away!"
telephoner: "o_0"

linpug • 2 May 2012 at 6:09 PM

@hay7199 What?

hay7199 • 2 May 2012 at 6:13 PM

@linpug

You: Go away (You tell them to leave)
Them: Make me! (They dont)
You: I dont make trash i bury it (You dont make them do that,but you will stop it)

hayz • 2 May 2012 at 6:17 PM

Telemarketer: Hello, would you like--

Me: *Breathes heavily into phone like a ghost* Leave..... now.... *More breathing*

Telemarketer: *Hangs up*

--

Telemarketer: Hello, would you like--

Me: Mine. Mine, mine, mine, mine. Mine. (Nemo reference)

--

Telemarketer: Hello, this is--

Me: *Slurs* Screw youuurr wife. Who cares about that b**** when you have meeeee? I already havee yourr baby so why stayy wit herrrrr?

dv55555 • 5 May 2012 at 2:19 PM

@hayz

LOL

@karamel XD
poop

telemarker: hello would u like a-
me: YES I LIKE A NYAN CAT 5 yrs video!!!!!!!!!!!!
XD
telemarker: WTF

sarahzafirah • 6 May 2012 at 1:56 AM

Telemarketer: Hello, would you be interested in--
Me: A free Nyan cat?! 😃 SURE!
Telemarketer: Actually--
Me: It's a real life ONNY?! 😃
Telemarketer: Toaster... would you be interested in a free--
Me: Trip to AMERICA?!?! YOU'RE SO KIND!!
Telemarketer: 0-0 *hangs up*

True story (not). 8D

Deleted • 6 May 2012 at 5:34 AM

@sarahzafirah: LOLOLOL!!! I loved reading these and my sister was like: >.> Why are you laughing?

Telemarketer: Hello, would you like a--
Me: SHAMRUE!? OR IS IT A CLOUS!? OR, ooh! ooh! A RAICORN!?
Telemarketer: No its--
Me: ITS A WHAT!? CORSAL!? OOOOOOH! CAVECASH! *going crazy and screaming random awesome creature names*
Telemarketer: Umm, actually its a--
Me: *screaming* AN ONNY? A TINE? A DOOVOO? A MACBOT? *thinking of all the awesome creatures to get*
Telemarketer: *is already deaf* Hello, can you speak louder?
Me: *screams until my lungs practically fall out* HELLO ARE YOU GOING TO MAIL ME THAT 10000000000000 CAVECASH OR NOT?
Telemarketer: Excuse me? I cannot hear you!
Me: *satisfied* 😃 *hangs up*


The above is @snowball888111's secret way to drive a telemarketer deaf! 😃

meixiaotian • 7 May 2012 at 8:19 PM

@karamel On your chinese post, a month and a day late,
You actually said, "Hello. My name is Clara. I am China."

karamel • 8 May 2012 at 12:48 PM

@meixiaotion I know >.<" My Chinese is terrible, my parents are trying to teach me xD

I think it's "Wo suo zhong guo" >.<

pinkred • 8 May 2012 at 5:27 PM

Telemarketer- Would yo..
Me- HELLO I'M (insert random name) WOULD YOU LIKE A
(insert random Egg Cave egg) and (insert random number) Eggcash
Telemarteter- O'.'O
Me- Now what was that thing you were saying again
Telemarketer- Would you like a...
Me- I CAN'T WAIT EEEEEEEEEEEEE THIS IS THE BEST PHONE CALL EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Telemarketer- 0.0 *hangs up*

meixiaotian • 8 May 2012 at 5:30 PM

@karamel No that's *almost* it. "I speak China." XD
It's "Wo shuo hanyu."

lola622f • 9 May 2012 at 8:54 PM

I speack chinese very fluently, if I do say so myself. The only problwm is, I can't read it or write it. DX

----


Chocolate seller: Hi! Would you like to buy chocolate?
Me: No thanks. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THEYY COULD'VE DONE TO THAT?! *points at the chocolates.
Seller: I ---
Me: The gruesome process of chocolate fare is when the Theobroma cacao beans are fermented till they rot. And that means that there will be bacteria and viruses building up on the cocao beans. Then, they add mountainious amounts of sugar. It's bad for you because there is alkaloid such as theobromine and it causes pyhysilogical effects to the body. *takes a breath*
Seller: O.o Nerd.... *leaves*
Me: HEY! WAIT! I'm not done my forty minute speech on how disgusting chocolate is!!!! COME BACK!!!!! D: Why doesn't anyone listen to me?

arya_456 • 9 May 2012 at 9:02 PM

@pipkitten @replica
Nice. People who appreciate morbid humor. That was brilliant. xD

Random person: What is wrong with you?!
Me: Would you like me to answer chronologically, alphabetically, or in order of severity?

dv55555 • 18 June 2012 at 4:33 PM

@hayz
@linpug
@cotton
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LETS START THIS TOPIC UP AGAIN!

james-bond • 30 June 2012 at 2:29 AM

This is an EPIC topic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!