How to respond to:

univea • 6 April 2012 at 11:36 AM

DON'T JUDGE ME: 7.9... possibly 8
WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME: Because you smell good
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU: Lots of things, and I don't wish to list them *grumpy face*
SHUT UP: No, I think i'll shut sideways. It's more fun, you should really try it

XD
YAY FOR STUPIDITY. X3

karamel • 6 April 2012 at 12:25 PM

@univea OMG! 😃 Lol!
YOU'RE A *insert swear word that means female dog*: Well, that's nice! *insert swear word* = female dog, dog = bark to make noise, bark = on trees, trees = nature, nature = beautiful.
Therefore I am beautiful *-*

univea • 6 April 2012 at 12:29 PM

@karamel
XD

hayz • 6 April 2012 at 12:32 PM

@univea

Actually, for WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, I usually say:

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU: Why, EVERYTHING! DO YOU WISH TO SEE? 8D *Proceeds to glomp*

bunnyshadow • 6 April 2012 at 12:35 PM

@hayz This topic was made just for you xD *lurks*

hayz • 6 April 2012 at 12:36 PM

@bunnyshadow

Oh, how loved I feel. .D.

taffy789 • 6 April 2012 at 12:45 PM

These made me laugh. XD


*Tries to think of one*
This is going to be a fail, but...

*Phone rings*
*Pick it up and hear:* : "Hello this is a telemarkter, are you intrested in a free toaster?"
-->
You reply: "No hablo ingles."

And it gets them to hang up REALLY fast. XD
(Unless they start speaking Spainish in return, which happened to my friend once. O_o )

karamel • 7 April 2012 at 2:26 PM

@taffy789 I do a similar thing:

*phone rings*
Picks up and ringer says: *insert_advert_here*
Me: Ni hao, wo jiao Clara. Wo shi Zhong Guo.

Then I start saying gibberish since my Chinese isn't that good xD Basically what I just put above is Chinese: Hello, I am Clara. I speak Chinese.

It always works XD

cotton • 7 April 2012 at 2:38 PM

@taffy789 @karamel

Or, (I found this on another website):
*telemarketer calls* "Hello, would you like to buy-"
You: "Sorry, I'm deaf. Could you please speak sign language so I can understand you?"
Telemarketer: *silence*

XD

karamel • 7 April 2012 at 2:43 PM

@cotton LOL!!
Okay there are 3 people including you. You are Persony.

Persona: *turns to Personb* Nice job!
Personb: *doesn't respond*
Persony: *thinks Persona is talking to Persony* Thanks!
Personb+a: *stares at Persony because that was meant to be for b*
Persony: ... GIVING! THANK'S GIVING! I love Thank's Giving! Heh... I'll go cook a turkey now! BYE! ...

cotton • 7 April 2012 at 2:47 PM

@karamel LOL

univea • 7 April 2012 at 2:49 PM

@karamel
@cotton
@taffy789
I'm gonna try all of those the next 3 times a telemarketer calls me XD

ladybugheart • 7 April 2012 at 2:50 PM

@taffy789

I have a ton replies for telephone people. xD

"Hey, is your refrigerator running? Mine is running in the marathon! Cheer for it! Go! Go! I can't hear you! Go, refrigerator! He's winning... oh, gotta go, bye!"

"Hey, honey, did you have a good day at work? I made your favorite meal. Hurry home!"

Yupp. xDD

karamel • 7 April 2012 at 2:52 PM

@univea If you have an insult as well, you can bet that I'll counter it easily.

My mum said that I should join a Violent Debating Society. I always respond to things using at least one swear word in real life xD

Wanna see? :'D 😈

rawrcookies08 • 7 April 2012 at 2:57 PM

*telemarketer calls*
*You answer* "OMG! NO WAY! I GET TO BUY SOMETHING? PLEASE TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT! OH GOSH I BET IT'S GREAT! PLEASE, TELL ME MORE! I REALLY WANT TO BUY YOUR PRODUCT!! IT SOUNDS SO AMAZING! OH GOSH I REALLY WANT TO BUY IT!!"
Telemarketer: "That's great! it's only 19.99! 😃
You: "Oh. I don't have any money. Bye!"

zafeyry • 7 April 2012 at 3:00 PM

@univea
Some guy from Wisconsin keeps calling my house and asking for "the captain" and my sister answered in a "seductive" voice "The captain's right here 😉"

piucca • 7 April 2012 at 3:02 PM

@univea
Yay thinking outside of the box ❤️

karamel • 7 April 2012 at 3:04 PM

@rawrcookies08 Like a boss. xD

cotton • 7 April 2012 at 3:05 PM

@karamel Lol

linpug • 7 April 2012 at 3:05 PM

Telephone calls: Is your refrigerator running?

Me: (In tune of 'On top of old Smokey) INSIDE OF MY KITCHEN, ALL COVERED WITH HAY! I LOST MY REFRIGERATOR, WHEN IT RAN AWAY! IT FIRST BROKE THE WINDOW, THEN DISCOVERED THE DOOR! NOW MY REFRIGERATOR, IS NO MORE!

Them: . . . *Hangs up*



~*~*~

Telephone calls: Hi! We have car insurance for you! If you pay one year in advance-


Me: Hi! I would like to order a large pepperoni pizza?

Them: What?

Me: Oh, sorry, you must have the wrong number *Hangs up*


Once I did that but the person was like:

Person: Hi! I'm going to bring you a large cheese pizza! 😃

Me: Hi! I would like to order a large cheese pizza.... Wait... WHAT?!?!? O_e

~*~*~

Dominos: Hi! Would you like to order some pizza

Me: By any chance do you have the phone number to pizza hut?

pipkitten • 7 April 2012 at 3:15 PM

*telemarketer calls*

Me: *answers phone* Hello, this is Joe's Morgue. You stab 'em, we slab 'em! How may I help you?

Telemarketer: Oh! Wrong number!! D: *hangs up*

balletninja • 7 April 2012 at 3:16 PM

YOUR MOM: Your dad :})

euro22 • 7 April 2012 at 3:23 PM

@univea
I have a funny voice mail-
Hello? Who's there? Who are you? Hello? Hello? Did you call me on accident, who's there?
It freaked me out when my friend did that on me XD

valorieviolet • 9 April 2012 at 4:34 PM

Lovely. All of these 😋

Feed?

lily- • 9 April 2012 at 4:45 PM

These are literally HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!XDD

replica • 9 April 2012 at 5:07 PM

Telemarketer: Hello, would you--
Me: It's done, where should I hide the body?
Telemarketer: *hangs up quickly*

Telemarketer: Hello, would you be interested in--
Me: *whispers* This is an insane asylum.
Telemarketer: Oh, I'm sorry, this must be a wrong--
Me: I once strangled a man with a squirrel.
Telemarketer: O_o *hangs up*

Slightly fabricated. 😉

linpug • 2 May 2012 at 5:55 PM

These are so funny! 😃

univea • 2 May 2012 at 5:57 PM

@linpug yes they are XD

Deleted • 2 May 2012 at 5:59 PM

YOUR SUCH A JERK! *goes to slap*: Please, we all know what you did with that hand last night, dont touch me with it!

hay7199 • 2 May 2012 at 6:01 PM

i got one!

You: Go away!
Person: Make me!
You: I dont make trash i bury it