RANT: Self-esteem

dreamer • 2 June 2012 at 11:14 PM

This is something I need to vent about, and I'd like some answers in the nicest way possible.

Well, for the past few days, my sis and I have been addicted to playing Temple Run on our phones. I got up to 1.5 million, and I told my dad, and he barely nodded. My sister just got a score of 700,000, and he says, "Wow, good job!" I then reminded him that I had gotten over 1 million and he ignored me.

Not even just that, I'm always having to compete. I can do three times as much as my little sister and she still gets all the praise from my dad. I get nothing.

I mean I get it, he wants her to feel special, and he already expects more out of me, but that's no excuse for treating me this way. He gives me almost no attention when I make an achievement over my sister. I always have to try as hard as I can to impress my dad, but he's never surprised by what I do.

Instead, he takes his time telling me what I CAN'T do, and what I'm not. He complains that I'm not active enough, that I "know too much", et catera Yet he's never done anything to help except to put the blame all on me. I'm lways walking around with my head down and he's always telling me not to be depressed and keep my head up. That's not easy to do if I'm never noticed.

(continued)

thepells4 • 2 June 2012 at 11:19 PM

Again, I understand, my dad is probably trying to raise my sister's self-esteem, but I already hate myself as it is. And besides, middle school "rankings" don't really help with my confidence, either.

My dad always tells me what I SHOULDN'T do, or what I CAN'T do, because I'm 12. He still thinks I'm a little toddler, and that's understandable, except that I'm much older now and he just doesn't see it.

I'm slowly starting to crash down... I have plenty of stress and struggles both at school and at home. The last thing I need is to have my flaws pointed out and my goals ignored. It's almost a 1 out of 100 change that I can tell my family what my wishes are. I keep it secret because I don't want to be judged.

Whenever I do something right, apparently it's such a huge surprise, and my dad needs to comment on what I've done wrong in the subject. And whenever I tell him how I feel about it, he starts saying I'm too sensitive or that I'm "hard to talk to." Apparently, everyone is hard to talk to except for him.

Ping me @Dreamer if you post. I just want to know why I'm being almost ignored... And I want to know if I can stop it.

hai • 2 June 2012 at 11:29 PM

@Dreamer

How do you even have stress at 12? O_o And you are still young. 12 isn't an age where you have lots of responsibility or start seeing the bad side of everything.

My advice is to think positive on anything and everything. It can really do wonders. Just put on a smile and confront whatever barriers are in your way. If you let it get to you, you will stay depressed and with a negative outlook on life.

Also about your father, talk to him about it in private and keep it serious. Or tell your sister how you feel, and she'll most likely ask your dad on the different behaviors.

Good luck and I hope it helps. ;]

dreamer • 2 June 2012 at 11:47 PM

@Hai Thank you for the advice. 😊

See, this is where I get stuck. X3 I know a ton of people my age who get extremely stressed, even though we shouldn't be. And at school, the teachers always give weak attempts to teach us how to eliminate stress, when school is the main thing that causes it. School=homework=less family time=angry parents. 😱

Every once and a while I get happy boosts and try to flip my personality and like, turn a new leap. It's actually quite comical to watch me; But I have plans for the summer to get out more and be active, so we'll see. That's one of the main things I'm picked on for, being inactive or "lazy" according to my father, so I'm going to fix that.
There are lots of tiny blunders I've made in the past few years. So I'm thinking of fixing those. (which include not freaking out and getting my blood drawn, tonsils removed, and just apologies).

I might talk to him about it, or at least let him know. If I go straight out with my feelings he might be angry, but I'll bring it to his attention. ^^

Lol, sorry for boring you with my hopes for the near future. I'm getting another happy boost. X3

balletninja • 2 June 2012 at 11:49 PM

@hai I agree 😃

hai • 2 June 2012 at 11:57 PM

@Dreamer

That's great! Stay active. Exercise is one of the best stress relievers. Try to stay in those happy spurts of happiness. 😊

@Balletninja

Thanks. 😊

dreamer • 2 June 2012 at 11:59 PM

@Hai I cherish happy spurts. XD I get them very rarely. But they tend to linger for a while. X3

I'll start with working on my three projects tomorrow. I can start one of them tonight. Then I can sleep in peace, unless it's a stupid idea to work on a project at midnight. 😱

hay7199 • 3 June 2012 at 12:05 AM

Im 12 going on 13.... My dad usualy gives my little bro all the attetion to, i got an A in math class one mounth (WORST subject) and he said 'wow cool good for you' and i showed my mom and she said "Wow! That is really cool (Insert name here) i bet you can keep that up!" And she was all happy. My brother though when he started going to school (Kindergarden) he got an A my dad took him out for ice cream! I was so P******!

karamel • 3 June 2012 at 1:32 PM

@dreamer THIS. OH MY GOSH I GET THIS TOO (except it's not just with my dad).

It's best to tell someone that might change your dad's view - your mum or your sister. Or, if you're not really bugged by him, just shrug it off. There's always going to be a few things you can't and can do. Just because you achieve something, though, doesn't mean you have to always get a reward. A while ago, a lot of smart people in my class (including me, though I highly doubt I fit in the "smart" category) applied for this top grammar school. One of the girls in my class got an iPad JUST FOR TRYING THE EXAM (no, she didn't get in), and I got in but I didn't get anything. Apart from ?10. That was for Chinese New Year though ._. (okay, okay, not the point.)

stellalunagirl • 5 June 2012 at 10:49 PM

@dreamer

To be honest, the stress will get worse, but thats high school for you.

As for advice, all I can really say is that you should stop trying to impress your father. If you live your life constantly trying to impress or live up to impossible expectations then you'll never be happy. Work hard for yourself, not for your parents.
Also, Temple run isnt that much of a big deal, just saying.. its a game, not an important test or anything.

Also, just think about the bright side. Think about all the things you HAVE that many others don't. Definitely changes your perspective on things.

Deleted • 5 June 2012 at 11:32 PM

@dreamer
My mom does that with me and ALWAYS praises my little bro and he's 10. For example, if he throws a Softball at me as hard as he could, my mom says,"SHouldn't of gotten hit with a Softball, walk it off!"

But if I hit HIM with a Softball my mom says,"Why would you do something back, you shouldn't be throwing Softballs, GO TO YOUR ROOM!" And I get straight A's and my brother gets them to but I am a higher rank than he is, HE gets all the praise.

But my Mom knows what she is doing, honestly, I think she is preparing me for real life. And it is a test to show how tough I really am. And how I can handle. When truth is I hate her. Sorry, that was alot.

bunnyshadow • 5 June 2012 at 11:44 PM

@dreamer
This probably isn't helpful, but just ignore him.








....





Your lucky you still have a dad.

magenta • 5 June 2012 at 11:49 PM

@Dreamer It must be tough :\ It seriously makes you left out, but your father is just reviewing your mistakes so that you would not make them in the future and soon your father would treat your sister that way 😊

@Skibunny9 HAHAHA LAWL XD My bro beats me MY DAD AND MOM DON'T SAY ANYTHING I beat him MY DAD AND MOM SCOLD ME X3

Deleted • 5 June 2012 at 11:51 PM

@magenta
Yeah, that is EXACTLY how it is. Lol! 😃

leafpelt • 6 June 2012 at 12:04 AM

@dreamer
You're situation and mine are so alike...I can't even-