Help

thepells4 • 7 July 2011 at 10:04 PM

*I posted this in the Anger Room too, but I don't think that's the right place for it to go. I wanna post it individually.*


I'm not angry OR sad... I don't even know HOW I feel.

There's so much drama lately. But that's not my main problem. Inside of the drama, I keep losing my friends here. People turning against me. I can log off for 20 minutes and then come online and see that someone hates me all of a sudden. And it hurts.

I can only think of a small handful of people on here nowadays that I can consider my friends. Even THOSE people are starting to get tired of me.

I'm not admitting that I'm wrong. I'm not apologizing to ANYONE. Because part of me wants to, but the other part says that I don't have to. SO many people I need to talk to, SO many problems I need to mend. And it breaks my heart.

Part of me is mad at these people for turning against me, the other part is mad at myself for anything I could've done to make these people hate me, another part of me just feels...

..Small. Helpless. Desperate for something good. Utterly lonely. I find happiness, but I ALWAYS lose sight of it. It's covered by something that completey depresses me. And I don't know what to do.

I'm a nuisance. I'm a wreck. I'm causing arguments. And I'm driving all my friends away.

I need help.



Anyone. Please. The smallst thing I can ask for is help. I don't need people to be angrier at me for admitting that I need guidance. I just need some people to help me get through this.

icymuffin • 7 July 2011 at 10:09 PM

Though you do have to keep in mind that this is the internet, so it is rather quite hard to tell how a person really feels.
Heck, someone may look up to you and not say anything ...basically because it's the internet.
Dont push yourself down too much. It kinda seems like you feel alone-ish? If so, there are other people that feel the same way.
I might not exactly know how you feel, but it's just... you know? :/

thepells4 • 7 July 2011 at 10:12 PM

@Icymuffin Yes, I know. And I feel weird, asking people online to help me with this. But there's really no one else I can turn to, and I jsut hope a few people are willing to give me some type of advice.
I definitely feel alone-ish. I try to describe how I feel, but only some people really know. I don't know if it's depression... But it's pretty close. I jsut usually don't have many people to turn to for stuff like this.

Deleted • 7 July 2011 at 10:13 PM

Best advice I can give is don't beat your self up for something you don't know about.

Deleted • 7 July 2011 at 10:14 PM

I dont like all this drama either. What happened to the friendly egg cave and less mean newbies?

thepells4 • 7 July 2011 at 10:17 PM

@Chloekins I'm not mainly focusing on the drama. -.- I just feel lonelier every day. I'm losing my friends here, and I only have a few in real life...

People always tell me I need to get through this and not give up. They say I have my whole life ahead of me because I'm an 11-year-old girl. But I just need help being ABLE to fix all this. I dunno. 😱

Deleted • 7 July 2011 at 10:17 PM

@thepells4

I am still your friend!

icymuffin • 7 July 2011 at 10:18 PM

This isn't depression. It's kind of hard to explain. It isn't as simple as saying "it's a phase 'everyone' goes through"
But I agree with pachi89
And don't let others take it too far.

Deleted • 7 July 2011 at 10:19 PM

I'm almost never happy..

I mean something good can happen and it'll make me smile, but it doesn't stay for long.

I know how you feel. I've lost my share of friends too.
I cry.. A lot. And I don't want anybody else to have to go through it.

syndrome • 7 July 2011 at 10:24 PM

@thepells and @dolphin I hope you guys feel better 😃 I shall send you both a friend request 😃

thepells4 • 7 July 2011 at 10:26 PM

I honestly, myself, I don't know what to do, like I said. I'm not promisng here, but I just need to try to follow advice. I do try, and it never works. I know that I have a lot of room for change because I'm starting a new school next year, along with everyone else in my grade. I think it's the best time for me to completely change myself.

So, I'm gonna try. I promise you all. I'm gonna try. This summer, 'm gonna focus on mentally changing myself. Being less shy, less embarassed, make more friends, apologize, fix everytihng, look better. Fit in. And I'm gonna try.

I might end up posting in say 5 months again about being depressed. Maybe even 5 minutes. But right now, I need to build on any little bit of hope I can find.

For anyone who knows me in RL, I guarantee I'll be a completely different person physically, mentally, and socially by the end of the summer. 😉


But, amid my sudden boost of hope (xD), I'm definitely still open to advice.

evilyowling • 7 July 2011 at 10:27 PM

I wish I had the right advice :c All I can say is that what I have read is really quite sad ☹️

Deleted • 7 July 2011 at 10:29 PM

Good luck to you. I basically cry myself to sleep everyday >.>

Sounds weird, but I Do. Don't know why.
Some pain can't be patched up with hugs and words of wisdom, and I'm a victim.

syndrome • 7 July 2011 at 10:30 PM

@thepells4 I wish I had some advice to give, but I don't ☹️ execpt maybe this youtube link XD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZOOisccC9E

Deleted • 7 July 2011 at 10:31 PM

You remind me of this one girl who I used to school with. Everyone hated her because of this other girl disliked her. Sadly I was one of her best friends. I knew she was wrong by making everyone hate her. the other girl was actually nice and very friendly when you got to know her. I hung out with her and got her some new friends. Although the other two don't like each other I'm still very good friends with both. Both have been happy ever since.

thepells4 • 7 July 2011 at 10:33 PM

@Pirateseaz I can't really go on Youtube... Who cares. I'll go watch it anyway. 😋


@Dolphin I know exactly how you feel. I used ot do that ALLL the time.

I think it might be because I worry about the future too much. When I was 8, I would always cry myself to sleep thinking about the day I die. Other times, about being scared. Because I didn't wanna grow up.

But now, I really have no choice about growing up. I need to try to face life and not sit in the corner crying. Because if I stay in that corner, I'm gonna become more shy, and lose all of my other friends. I don't really know anyway to make myself feel compleely better. All I can tell myself is that I'm gonna try.

plookle • 7 July 2011 at 10:37 PM

Early this year, a very good friend of mine passed away, very suddenly from pneumonia. She was only 17 years old.
I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm asking for some consideration. Life is much too short to spend it depressed or unhappy with yourself. Roshnie lived every day to the fullest, but I know that she would have given anything for just one more.
thepells, dolphin, I don't know your stories, I don't know why you're upset, but I'm asking you to try and put it all in perspective. Ask yourself, if you were to die tomorrow, would you look back on today and feel fulfilled? If the answer is no, maybe you should stop striving to change yourself and start being happy with who you are, and the life you've been given.

Deleted • 7 July 2011 at 10:38 PM

@Thepells4 I don't care to be the loser with 4 Friends..
It's what I've always been, and always will be..
And I'm fine with it.
I'd rather have a few good friends, then a lot of backstabbing friends.

thepells4 • 7 July 2011 at 10:44 PM

@Plookle I've tried doing that, but I'm never satisfied with it. Just, everything. I'm lonely, I always feel so guilty, I don't look good, I'm too shy. I don't wanna be COMPLETELY different. I jsut wanna try to be more open. I think it would help me a lot more in life then sitting here crying over my laptop. 😱
I don't want sympathy either. Sympathy makes me feel guilty. Because people might think I'm conceited if I have too much sympathy. I'm really just looking for a piece of advice that will blow me away and turn my whole life around, if there has ever been a piece of advice like that. 😱

@Pachi89 I actually used to be a lot happier. But now, I just don't really understand wht's going on. I'm never really happy for long. 😱 I don't have any complete enemies, that I tihnk are terrible people. But a few people (in RL), can make me angry. I don't know what, but there's something out there that makes me feel the way I do. 😱











But since I gtg in about 15 mins., I'm just gonna try to spend the rest of that time trying to cheer myself up.

Deleted • 7 July 2011 at 10:49 PM

@Thepells4 I don't see why! You're pretty, tall (-.-) Smart.

Everything. I'm. Not. You should see it as a gift. Both of my brothers are smarter than me,and make friends better.

I have to study Soo much more than them! And I BARELY passed my grade. I'd give anything to be smart >.<

crescentfeather • 7 July 2011 at 10:50 PM

@thepells4
Don't be sad ☹️ I'll be your friend!~ I wouldn't dream of backstabbing a friend. The possibility has never occured to me in my life.

plookle • 7 July 2011 at 10:51 PM

@thepells4 That is exactly what I mean! Everyone has fears and insecurities and problems with themselves and those around them. People always have and they always will. There IS no magical advice that's going to fix your life, the only person who can do that is you. And if you're wallowing in your own pain and uncertainty that can never happen.
I told you about Rosh not because I thought it was going to change your life, but because it showed all of her friends firsthand how unfair and brief life can be. You NEVER know how long you have, and if you spend your time constantly regretting the past and fearing the future, you're life will without a doubt turn out every bit as miserable as you predict. You've got to stop being afraid, and try to come to terms with yourself, and that's all of you, looks, personality, the works.

Deleted • 7 July 2011 at 10:56 PM

'If Today Was Your Last Day' ❤️ -Nickelback. Look it up ❤️

crescentfeather • 7 July 2011 at 11:02 PM

@dolphin
*happy tears*

;_;

muppet • 7 July 2011 at 11:03 PM

@thepells4
go here:http://www.inspirationpeak.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?search=difficult

it has a lot of things to help put stuff in perspective😃





"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

Anais Nin
American Author

Deleted • 7 July 2011 at 11:03 PM

@CrescentFeather Nickelbak Is Meh Lifee ❤️3

muppet • 7 July 2011 at 11:04 PM

@thepell4

also this one:

http://www.inspirationpeak.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?category=courage&records=10&tmp=tp5&order_by=position&order=321

takaedakumi • 7 July 2011 at 11:08 PM

@thepells4 Hey, cheer up, you may feel that no one likes you, there are many misunderstandings and problems, but just slowly heal your friendships, and don't take more than you can chew, or you'll start drowning in your loneliness and make things harder for yourself. So take small steps and slowly get through it, you'll feel better sooner than you think! And even though I don't know you well, maybe I can be a crutch, a stepping stone, to help you get across the bad times. ^.^

Deleted • 8 July 2011 at 12:05 AM

@thepells4

You shouldn't feel so bad.But What I suggest is to try to befriend them again,yet show them they can't break you.I used to have a friend who'd call me to come over all the time,then ditch me once I started getting obsessed with her.She did this over and over again.But I grew tired of this.So,to make a long story short,I never call her.She calls me.And I go along with it.But I don't fall into her trap.Show 'em what you can do,girl!

Deleted • 8 July 2011 at 12:53 AM

@plookle

I had pneumonia. I stayed outta school for 2 weeks!