I need some help.

pebblestar-nightclan • 30 June 2012 at 3:20 PM

So, I went out for lunch with my brother, mom, and dad. Well, my brother and I are very close, so we know a lot of secrets about each other that even our parents don't know, despite the fact that we "fight" a lot. Well, my brother has been telling me about how he thinks my dad thinks he's stupid, and he thinks my dad hates him, and that he's not good enough for him, and my dad DOES act like that. Well, today when we were talking, it got a little out of hand between the two, and my brother finally said out loud about how my dad calls him dumb and stupid and that stuff. My dad started getting defensive of himself, and in the end, my brother wasn't talking anymore. A few minutes later, my dad started talking again, and he said, "If I thought you were dumb, why would I ask your input on everything?" And my brother didn't answer, until a few seconds later, he said, "I don't know."

And then he started crying...

My brother NEVER cries. My family never does this to each other. We've always been there. I can tell my dad feels guilty, but for the rest of the time we were silent. We go home and all my brother does is go upstairs into his room and closes the door. So, here I am trying to get any advice from you guys. My brother is really upset right now, and I don't want it to be like this. Can someone please give some advice or help me? ☹️

inkstep • 30 June 2012 at 3:36 PM

Well I dont think I can give much advise ☹️ but what I can say is guys have a hard time some times expressing their feelings, so maybe your dad is a bit upset that your brother thinks that? and maybe your brother just realized he was wrong or something *is terrible at giving advise*
@pebblestar-nightclan

pebblestar-nightclan • 30 June 2012 at 3:37 PM

@inkstep
Thank you for actually responding!

I don't know, but I'm not sure how to help them out or what to say to either of them.

inkstep • 30 June 2012 at 3:38 PM

@pebblestar-nightclan well the least you could do is tell each of them you love them (if you're alright with doing that) and then just watch and see how things play out
and you're welcome ^^

leafpelt • 30 June 2012 at 3:42 PM

@pebblestar-nightclan
Well...first thing is that I think you should do is comfort your brother. If he's upset to the breaking point, I think you should talk with him first. Then, maybe you can talk with your dad. If that doesn't work, ask your mom to hold a family meeting to clear everything up. I'm sorry.I can't help much...

jillianjil • 30 June 2012 at 3:42 PM

@pebblestar-nightclan
It should be ok. 😊 At least it wasn't like your parents yelling at each other or anything 😸

crescentfeather • 30 June 2012 at 3:42 PM

@pebblestar-nightclan I don't know if this is good advice, but here goes.

It sounds like your brother is just upset and confused. Maybe give him and your dad some time to cool down and think over things. I wouldn't disturb your brother right now, he seems to need some alone time. Try and see if you can get your dad to apologize in some way. 😊

pebblestar-nightclan • 30 June 2012 at 3:46 PM

@inkstep Thanks for the advice.
@leafpelt No, that's okay, I will accept and listen to any advice.
@jillianjil The thing is, if it happens to where my brother is to the point where he feels he's not needed, my mom would be upset at my dad for saying that kind of thing... And not apologizing.
@crescentfeather Yes, I think my brother is asleep now, too. I was thinking of talking to my dad, too. Thanks for the advice. 😊

leafpelt • 30 June 2012 at 3:49 PM

@pebblestar-nightclan
Yeah..I'm rubbish at this...so..try to make peace or just let it run through?

chapus • 30 June 2012 at 7:02 PM

@pebblestar-nightclan Sadly, there are times were there are troubles in between family members. In my family, we fight too, but in the end, we forgive each other. Sometimes, it just passes by. Honestly, I can't really say anything, but I can't say one thing.

Pebble, I know you, you are a tough cookie. I know you're gonna make it through. Even when it seems impossible, you are gonna make it. Just believe in yourself and everything will be fine. Even when it seems your life is just a mess, a bunch of knots, it's gonna be over one day.

So be strong and stay tall!

:')

hedwig68 • 30 June 2012 at 7:11 PM

Well I am really bad when it comes to advice so sorry if this is terrible. Maybe you should ask your dad why he acts like he thinks your brother isn't good enough and all that. Then you could have your brother and father speak face to face and talk it out.

Wow that was terrible advice sorry that this advice isn't dry good.

Deleted • 1 July 2012 at 4:42 AM

dont worry about it. these things happen.

ex.
kids think they know more than their parents, and they did the same to theirs. its normal.


kids fight with their parents, resist them, rebel against them. its normal. part of finding out who you are and what you believe in.

just support your brother, you cant make the decisions for him. he has to see the light himself so he can learn from the experience.

and so do you.

zafeyry • 1 July 2012 at 9:41 AM

@pebblestar-nightclan
I'd say stay out of it. I've been in a situation like this except more serious (PM me about it) that involved well, stuff I'm uncomfortable with saying here. I would put more details on my choice but I can't put the reasons here....