Need of Advice

snowrosehell • 3 August 2012 at 9:04 AM

Hi guys! 😊
This is kind of 'emotionally' and real life related and most probably personally related. Make sure that you are a hundred percent sure before proceeding in reading this topic. 😊

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I had this so-called 'Friends' in school. From the start, there's only three of us here. Kami and Jassie. We had a good relationship. Without me, this girl Resa won't be able to join us. (Note: not their real names. Dunno if they ever had an account here so better be safe. 😊 )

As of now I've learned that they're back-stabbing meh. I don't know it at first, but I could feel it and they start avoiding me except for Kami.

The past few days, Kami decided to open up the sit. since I told her abt it. I asked Resa and Jassie (Mostly, Ressa) if she had any problems with me. They were like passing it to each other. they were like exchanging stares like they can't tell me about it. It's annoying me. >.< they told me about it even tho they were UNSURE if they SHOULD tell me about it and then I was told that I AM NOT allowed to explain myself behind all those stuff. The bell rang so it was cut short. Kami told me that actually, there's still something that they didn't told me about. Those 'stuffs' are just actually Minor ones! But guess what? I just let it pass.

Seriously, I'd prefer to get/ be hurt in person than from behind.

But the thing is... I want or NEED something to help change myself in just a matter of days. Like 2 days? Well yeah. I need a makeovah!

karamel • 3 August 2012 at 9:18 AM

@snowrosehell Don't change yourself just for those "so-called friends". If people don't like you for who you are, they don't deserve to be your friend. Stay yourself, always, because that's who you are 😊 ❤️ There are always going to be people who don't like you, and that's okay, because there's always someone you're going to dislike too. 😊

snowrosehell • 3 August 2012 at 9:25 AM

@karamel - Well actually, I want to change myself for the better. In short, to improve myself a bit. 😊

karamel • 3 August 2012 at 9:27 AM

@snowrosehell In what way? :s

snowrosehell • 3 August 2012 at 9:45 AM

@karamel - Like a a piece of something.. well advice since that's what this is all about. But of course it should be on how to feel comfortable with self, how to be good less meanie.. Yeah, or something like that. 😊

karamel • 3 August 2012 at 9:51 AM

@snowrosehell How to feel comfortable with yourself? Just appreciate who you are and all your good traits 😊 You're funny, kind, friendly, and just the pure face of awesome 😉 Accept all your positive points of yourself, and accept that everyone has bad things about them - being perfect is boring. List all of your good traits by yourself (please, don't tell me you can't come up with 10 different compliments...) and look at them. That's what makes you a wonderful person! Honestly, there's more than 10 out there 😋

How to be less mean? You're not mean at all. To me, anyway 😸 Just don't judge people by their looks and give people a fair chance. No "friends with benefits" and don't bully 😋 Keep a positive attitude.

determination • 3 August 2012 at 10:01 AM

@snowrosehell
You don't need to change. As karamel said, appreciate who you are. Don't change yourself just to please others. You change yourself to please yourself. If they really were proper friends, they wouldn't care what you were. You're just their friend. That's all. Don't change yourself to please those bullies. People like you because of who you are. You don't need a makeover. You need to learn how to calm down, and ignore people who aren't real friends.

luv • 3 August 2012 at 10:11 AM

@Snowrosehell
If you want to change yourself for the better, focus less on looks and more on the inside. Find your good traits and embrace them, find your bad ones and remove them. If you are really bent on improving your looks for a makeover too, don't do major crazy diets and stuff. Maybe get a hair cut and ask one of your other friends to go shopping with you. Have fun, buy a cool new outfit, and you'll forget about those jealous wannabees in no time.

@Karamel
I'm obsessed with giving advice, and every topic I come to you've been on there too. You've given me an idea. 😉

karamel • 3 August 2012 at 10:13 AM

@luv ... is it an advice-giving contest? D:

... CHALLENGE ACCEPTED >8D

AM I INVOLVED? 8D

luv • 3 August 2012 at 10:14 AM

@Karamel
Interesting. I wasn't going to go all competition. I was going to suggest the two of us open up an advice topic, where people can come ask for advice, instead of opening a new topic every time.

BUT COMPETITION SOUNDS INTERESTING TOO. O.o

snowrosehell • 3 August 2012 at 10:18 AM

@karamel - yeah, I don't bully. NONE at all. I just rant whatever, whenever I don't feel like being treated one. You know what I mean. 😊 Well you see, in class, I'm a bit boring and people hates me for correcting their mistakes in seat works or assignment and so on. My whole world is totally shut and only a few knew about it. So I guess I'm surviving? xD

@determination - That's what I thought. But oh well, I still want to change at least just a part of me. I wanna be awesome in the view of others in some ways. 😊 Well, not maybe all at least some of them. I just can't be myself if I'm in school!

luv • 3 August 2012 at 10:20 AM

@Snowrosehell
How is my advice? 😊 I hope it's helpful.

omgtofubebe • 3 August 2012 at 10:25 AM

I think it is okay. You are good and just be who you are!

karamel • 3 August 2012 at 10:27 AM

@snowrosehell That's good, in a way 😋 That means you're smart so that when you grow older, you will have a better job than the dumb blonde (NO OFFENCE TO BLONDIES, I mean in those American cliche movies there's the cheerleading group who are pretty and stuff) 😉 Just don't try to correct them really bluntly, tell it to them politely, or you will come off as bossy 😋

snowrosehell • 3 August 2012 at 10:28 AM

@luv - Lol it was. xD Of course I'm not going for an over-all diet. Well maybe a little to maintain myself. I am actually also open for physical like looks. But my friends from before is helping me with that.

I like the shopping idea! But the problem is.... my parents won't give me cash for shopping. T_T Plus, if ever take my friends out for shopping I'll heard stuffs like 'Hanging out with meh just because of cash.' Me don't want that. -__-

If me was just active and checking out on every rant threads in the forums... I swear I'd also be your competition. teehee~~ 😸

@karamel

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EDIT
Karamel-chan, if can see and be with each other in RL I am SOO totally not bossy. OF course, I always do stuff in a nice way. Lesson learned! xD

luv • 3 August 2012 at 10:30 AM

@Snowrosehell
I don't think we'll go the competition route, it's not the point is it @Karamel ?
The point is, you can earn money right. Do odd jobs for your mom and dad, call a friend, pool your money together catch a movie & get lunch, then maybe buy a fancy new top at aeropostale or something?

snowrosehell • 3 August 2012 at 10:36 AM

@luv - Gosh if you only knew.. It's so hard to earn or even save $2 and up.. T_T I don't remember having $5 as the highest allowance in my whole life! Lol, I know, I was just playing along with karamel's reaction. xDD Plus, it'll get me way many weeks to earn just that kind of amount..

karamel • 3 August 2012 at 10:36 AM

@snowrosehell Looks aren't everything, they're just an added bonus that not everyone needs. Besides, everyone is beautiful on the inside and in their own way 😊 And about the "hang out with me just because of cash", those people are STEREOTYPICAL. Just because you have a day with your friends shopping doesn't mean that you're trying to bribe them with cash. Ignore what other people think, because that's what they think - not what they know. Ask your friend(s) if they want to have a day out with you to go shopping, see a movie or eat out together, and you can do whatever and just have fun!

To earn money, just do chores around the house. You can also clean cars/windows for your neighbours (make sure you don't hurt yourself when you clean high windows 😋) or do a paper round, as long as you are of legal age.

@luv + snowrosehell The point of advice giving isn't for competition. It's just for helping people out whenever possible 😊

snowrosehell • 3 August 2012 at 10:42 AM

@karamel - Well sure.
I actually have different moods in school and outside. -quoted from my friend, Kate. 😊 I guess they don't knew me all so well.

I know. 😊 (Note the sarcasm with my 3rd post from here) You guys are so taking it seriously. Lol

determination • 3 August 2012 at 10:44 AM

@snowrosehell
Well, you're Awesome the way you are, even if you want to rant all day! 😋

karamel • 3 August 2012 at 10:50 AM

@snowrosehell Eep. I use sarcasm so much in my life I can't tell them apart (I don't use sarcasm much online since it's a little different).

If I could, I'd give you ?20... the good side of doing all the housework and cooking in my house is that I get paid 😊 (And I do mainly all the chores unless my mum is actually bothered, so I practically make a living at home LOL.) The bad thing is I don't have a PayPal account so I don't get CC =-="

rileytibbles_side • 3 August 2012 at 10:59 AM

@snowrosehell
I know that everyone is saying change what's on the inside and I totally agree. But I reinvented my self for middle school and I feel really good😊

Would you be comfortable sharing a photo with me through PM so I can give you tips?

snowrosehell • 3 August 2012 at 5:59 PM

@determination - thanks. You have an awesome username. 😊

@karamel - My mom won't particularly like the idea of doing house job with payment since she said or at least, everyone in the house said that 'Chores is part of your life...' and that goes on. v.v

@rileytibbles_side - Really? Reinventing yourself? 😱 I wanna hear that. Lol. Uhhh... sure? I don't mind at all. 😊 But it's kind of awkward sending you a pm with only a photo inside it. T_T

lonewolf • 3 August 2012 at 7:15 PM

@snowrosehell

Okay. I understand perfectly. I am having the exact same thing happen to me right now. Some of my friends are backstabbing me and saying things about me behind my back. Apparently they just think that my reaction to what they are saying would be a bad reaction so they don't tell me it. They call me "emo" for wanting to know what they're saying. It's getting better for me though. Yesterday I tried talking to my friends about it. One of my friends is a blabber mouth and told me all what they say about me and stuff. It's still really confusing but yeah. You just need to let it go. I'm doing that and it's working. Just be nice to them and show them that you don't care (even if you do) and things will get better. And if they keep doing that then confront them about it. Sit in a group and talk about it. And if they don't want to for some reason, then they are being immature. It will get better, okay? You can PM me if you want. 😊

snowrosehell • 3 August 2012 at 7:34 PM

@lonewolf - I have this gawky feeling that I can't listen without dropping a tear out of my eyes. You see, even if it's sensitive stuff, it feels so....... I don't know why but as of now, O hate how my life in school goes. Well not totally in school but, in my class. Just me thinking of talking or at least try to approach them makes me want to shed a tear. I don't know why. Having knowledge about the pain hurts most especially when you are approaching your so-called 'friends'.

Seriously, what goodness will it back-stabbing do? If you're only talking about a someone from behind? What benefit will you get when the person you're talking to doesn't have knowledge about it? How will talking things from behind will benefit us?

P.S I am not letting mg anger issues on you since I am not mad. 😊

(Gosh! I felt like writing a story xD)

lonewolf • 3 August 2012 at 7:38 PM

@snowrosehell

Yeah... When I talked to my friends I was trying to hold back tears- it was really hard. Ugh, stupid drama. And I know this sucks to hear and I've been told this but if they keep doing that and know that it's hurting you and they don't care; then they're not good friends. You deserve better. Y'know? And I hate finding out things they say about me. Makes me feel betrayed. Just take my advice and tell me what happens. And if you have a hard time approaching them face-to-face talk to them over the phone or on texts if you have a cellphone. Or on the internet.

snowrosehell • 3 August 2012 at 7:45 PM

@lonewolf- it doesn't even make me feel better talking over on phone or the net. If on phone I'm already ignore then why push myself, right? I see no point in those stuff. If I am trying to help myself and then they aren't even being my friend and try to help me. If they're really a friend, shouldn't THEY help you become a better one in front of others like your classmates or so on?
Btw, I am soo taking your advice. 😊

stellalunagirl • 4 August 2012 at 1:39 AM

@lonewolf
@snowroseshell

Might I suggest that you find some new friends? Ones that appreciate you for you are and who are genuine in their actions and friendship?

If they "back stab" you, they aren't really your friends and there isn't any point in trying to hold onto a relationship like that if they clearly do not respect you or treat you accordingly.

snowrosehell • 4 August 2012 at 10:27 PM

@stellalunagirl - okayy? But, the ones I call 'friends' aren't on the same class as I do. My best friend is on another school..

Btw, do you umm.. like want to get or see how they look like?

@lonewolf
@karamel
@rileytibbles_side
@luv

lonewolf • 5 August 2012 at 12:58 AM

@stellalunagirl

We can all gossip about our friends sometimes. But doing it in a mean way on purpose is wrong... my friends just- idk. It's just this whole big thing going on and now I'm pretty sure it's done and over with. I know they care about me and I care about them, we just have our ups and downs.

@snowrosehell Haha why does it matter to see how they look? 😋