What should I do in this situation?

whispers • 15 April 2013 at 5:33 PM

One day last week, my friend told me that when somebody really likes someone, their brain releases a chemical that causes them to overlook that persons' flaws. (She had told me this because I had to go back into gym with him after health, and I'd gotten really fat and complaining to her).

So, my boyfriend like BGF was texting me on Saturday.
And, he claimed he had a big crush on me (as I did for him).

But, he sends me this text about my flaws that I should fix. Such as my acne, and that I should stop slouching so much. But he told me I could point out something he should fix.

At the moment, I didn't exactly think too much of it. Except that he sounded like my mom, and that I couldn't think of any flaws about him.

Then, on Sunday, I remembered what my friend said. I've been so depressed since.


I told my friends who've actually had boyfriends before, and they said I should give him the silent treatment. But, I don't think that's the right way to approach it. And then, on top of it all, my friends go ahead by themselves and tell him that what he said to me wasn't that nice. And yet, he doesn't have a clue what they're talking about.

How should approach this situation? I don't want to say something that would ruin our friendship. But I want to express my feeling of unhappiness to him.

Help? xD I am the worst person when it comes to relationships, obviously.

Deleted • 15 April 2013 at 5:59 PM

Please guys.
This is really important to me.

Please, I really need some help.

immortalraven • 15 April 2013 at 6:14 PM

@whispers
Ok. Usually I don't comment on things like this here but I'm going to this time.

People who 'like/love' each other don't try to fix each other. They 'like/love' each other for their flaws and all that. I've dealt with this. Had guys try to change me. Majority of those relationships didn't work out very nice but it's life. It's gonna happen.

Anyways. When I just sat down to talk to them when/if this happened then it got better. Some I didn't talk to them about it and the relationship ended really bad. Some when I talked to them didn't really care and wouldn't listen to me talk so I broke up with them cause I couldn't be with someone who doesn't listen and doesn't care.

I just sat down with them one day and just said I had to talk/tell them something when I talked to one of them.

I haven't dated a lot but I have enough to the point I kinda learned from it.

whispers • 15 April 2013 at 6:17 PM

@immortalraven

Okay ^^
Thank you for your advice!

immortalraven • 15 April 2013 at 6:18 PM

@whispers
No problem.

shadielle • 15 April 2013 at 6:18 PM

@whispers If you're the type of person who prefers to work things out by having a talk, you should politely tell him that he hurt you by telling you such things. In my opinion, unless asked to, a best friend or boyfriend or whatever should never point out defects like that. If you like someone, you like someone and that's it. And you don't go asking them to loose some weight and such in order to like them more (sorry but that's the way it sounded like by reading the things he told you).

shelby • 18 April 2013 at 1:48 PM

@whispers
<<
If you really like someone or love them, you don't tell them to change.
I'm in a relationship with someone right now.
I'm not the prettiest person in the world. I'm not slender. But he doesn't care. He loves me for me. Not my appearance.

This person might not really like you for you. I'm not saying he doesn't, but >>
You should tell him that it hurt your feelings, though. Because if you don't talk to the person and tell them how you feel, friends or more, it'll get bad.
Trust me.

lucky_cricket • 18 April 2013 at 2:20 PM

@whispers

You should only ever be with someone who makes you feel great about yourself!

It could have been one of his friends that stole his phone, you never know. I would show the text to him, and ask him politely if he's the one that sent it.

Then, make it clear that if he wants to be with you, he should do it because he likes you just the way you are.

whispers • 18 April 2013 at 8:13 PM

Thanks everybody! c:
I took your advice and approached him with the problem.
He felt really bad about it, and didn't realize how much he had hurt my feeling. And he apologized ^-^


Thank you guys c;