Is there something called....Friend-Stealing?!?!

Deleted • 4 May 2013 at 3:17 PM

Rachel has been my BFF since last year. Recently, Lucy has been bumping up to me and Rachel. Rachel has slowly come more open to Lucy than me...

a) Is Rachel still my BFF?
b) If not, should I move on or try and talk it out with Rachel?
c) What should I do if I move on? I'm not good at making new friends.
d) What should I say if I talk it out with Rachel? What would probably be Rachel's reaction?
e) If she is still my BFF, how should I try and figure out that she is?

Help!!!

@wererage
@rojoqueen
@bluebelle
@immortalraven
@jupiter_hollow

borgore • 4 May 2013 at 3:20 PM

@rushingwater

People change their friends/friendship groups constantly.

There is no such thing as a 'best' friend. Within 6 months, it's most likely you'll just be mutual with your 'best' friend at the time. And if you confront them about being friendly with other people, they're going to think you're clingy. Trust me, if it was the other way around, you'd think, 'why are you telling me who to be friends with?'.

As soon as you leave school, you move on to new people at college.

As soon as you leave college, you move on to new people at work.

It goes on and on as much as you change. There is never such thing as a friend 'forever' either.

Sorry if that seems quite blunt, I'm having a similar problem too and this is what I basically summed up ^^

rojoqueen • 4 May 2013 at 3:21 PM

@rushingwater
*sighs* I have had this happen before, I would try to talk it out with rachel if I were you, she might not re-act well, or she might re act fantastically, I like to ask people things when there in a good mood. XD Hope this helps

bluebelle • 4 May 2013 at 3:21 PM

@rushingwater
Try D). Talking to Rachel will help your relationship with her, it will help make her closer to you. Or try to be friends with rachel and lucy. Maybe lucy feels sad and lonely and wants some friends.

Deleted • 4 May 2013 at 3:22 PM

@borgore

Quite depressing.

@bluebelle

Lucy *had* two awesome friends. Grrr.

@rojoqueen

*sigh*

Ugh this is so sad and despressing :c

rojoqueen • 4 May 2013 at 3:26 PM

@rushingwater
I had a best friend once, she was nice and friendly we practically did everything together, sat together at lunch, and told each other secrets, then we sort of faded away from each other, Then I met bluebelle XD

Deleted • 4 May 2013 at 3:27 PM

@rojoqueen

I think that is happening with Rachel :c Because darn Lucy STOLE her away from me >:[

scream • 4 May 2013 at 3:29 PM

@rushingwater She might not be stealing. It's possible to have two best friends.

Deleted • 4 May 2013 at 3:30 PM

@scream

*shrugs* But Rachel is fading away from me and going over to Lucy.

rojoqueen • 4 May 2013 at 3:30 PM

@rushingwater
Yeah scream is right, but bluebelle is all mine mwahahaha no one can have her!!

bluebelle • 4 May 2013 at 3:30 PM

@rushingwater
Try asking Rachel to hang out with you more often. Steal her back! For example: get ice-cream, go to the park, or the lake, hang out at your house, etc.
Try planning fun lucy-free activities for the both of you.

Deleted • 4 May 2013 at 3:31 PM

@rojoqueen

LOL

@bluebelle

Good idea!! 😊

rojoqueen • 4 May 2013 at 3:33 PM

@rushingwater
*grabs bluebelle* My precious all mine!!

bluebelle • 4 May 2013 at 3:33 PM

@rushingwater 😃❤️
Don't worry, I'm really sure that Rachel cares about you 😃

purrclan • 4 May 2013 at 3:42 PM

@rushingwater
Friendships change. Maybe Lucy was trying to be friends with both of you (you said she was bumping up to Rachel AND you) and, like you said later on, you don't make friends quickly, but maybe Rachel does. Maybe if you let Lucy into your group you could become a BFF triangle instead of a pair.
Maybe Rachel feels like she's been growing apart from you, through no fault of your own OR of Lucy's. That stuff does happen, you know. And then, this situation would be less of 'Lucy stole my friend' and more of 'my friend left me for someone else'.
Maybe Lucy feels like she's friends with both of you. Maybe Rachel thinks she's still friends with you. Maybe they don't see a problem with what's going on.
Maybe Lucy and her friends are having problems and she was trying to find someone else to hang out with.
A friend is not a possession. They are not something that only one person can have. You can have more than one friend, and more than one person can have you as a friend.
People change. What brought you and Rachel together might not be holding you together anymore; you might be friends because you've always been friends. Maybe she's just found someone who she connects with better than she does you.



All that ^ is just speculation on my part. My point is: From what you've said, Lucy seems like she's being friendly, Rachel likes hanging out with Lucy, and you feel threatened.

snowrosehell • 5 May 2013 at 7:28 AM

@rushingwater

Simple. You'll know if Rachel is still your bestfriend IF...
1 She still has time to spend with you even if it's the least.
2 She will talk to you and won't ignore you even in phone messages, texts, e-mails and whatsoever.
3 She, herself will make an effort if she thinks of you as her bestfriend.
4 She won't make you feel left out especially with other people.
And lastly, A true, real friend never leaves you and accepts the fact of who you are.

If she fails to make you feel these thins then she is not your best friend and that you are the only person to think of her as that right now. She may have thought of you that way but my guess it was history, honey. 😊


Although Lucy is just trying to make friends with you both. 😊 Try knowing her like what are her interests are and if you have the same. You always have to look on the bright side. You won't loose anything if you try. Maybe you'll even gain another bestfriend.

You must also remember that things change as time goes by. Always remember that the only thing that is constant in this world is CHANGE. 😊


Believe it or not, I encountered the same thing and still am. *sighs*

jemmie • 5 May 2013 at 8:37 AM

@rushingwater

I know what you mean. One of my closest friends for two years is Danni. But Emily keeps trying to get Danni to like her. Sometimes I keep thinking Danni is more open to Em, but in my mind I know it's not true.


Rachel will be your best friend if:

-She still hangs out with you
-She doesn't change plans you've made with her
-All the things above people said.
-You know she is. Don't doubt people until they are really betraying you. I bet Lucy just wants more friends. Is she new or something?

whitefall • 5 May 2013 at 10:30 AM

@rushingwater

Just be friends.
You shouldn't try to force your relationship with her. 😊
I'm sure all three of you can be good buddies.

Deleted • 5 May 2013 at 10:42 AM

Thanks a ton, guys ❤️