Think before you speak.

stefrawr • 19 September 2015 at 12:38 AM

I just wanted to take a minute and try to reach out to some of you on here. I have always been made fun of for how I look and how I'm a big girl. This all started in school. I thought it would all stop and it did for awhile. Then years later here I am in my 20s working at a job (I don't even really like) trying to make a living. Today I was reminded that no matter how nice you are there will always be mean people in your life. I found out someone I work with was saying some of the meanest things behind my back. I was so hurt I cried at work. I just wanted to let you all know words hurt no matter what age. Judging and making fun of someone for being different is by far the meanest thing you can do to someone. Words carry a heavy hurt because when I heard what she said I felt like I was back at school with people who made my life misserable when I was 13. Please think before you speak. Keep bad thoughts of others to yourself. Don't be the reason someone hates life or themselves. Every life matters and we are all here for a reason. Big or small, tall or short. Who are you to judge?

monsterdrool • 24 September 2015 at 12:19 AM

Most people themselves have bad self esteem. Making fun of people, while not any kind of reason keeps some of the attention off themselves and their flaws. I am sorry that someone hurt you, just remember you will always be better than a thoughtless word.

glacias • 29 September 2015 at 7:09 AM

@stefrawr

Just keep in mind that these people are just not smart. They don't have the ability to be empathetic, and they are just those that follow all the others to look just like the world describes us to. I have had the same issue, I'm also a big girl, and I have other ways of thinking instead of the mainstream way of thinking. I don't follow fashion, I don't watch popular girls shows, I don't fancy handsome actors in a scary way,... These things make me stand out, and mainstream people can't understand that. They only think about what all the other people do and that what you look like or what you do is just strange and freaky. Just keep thinking that they are not smart enough to look further than their own nose.

Yes, there will always be mean people, but really, they're going to turn out like all the other people that aren't smart enough to think for themselves. They are narrow-minded people that only think about themselves.

Bullies are the ones that don't mature as fast as other kids. While other kids learn to think about others and learn what their behaviour can do to someone else, these bullies just stand still during puberty. When your colleagues still act like that, you just have to pity them, because they weren't able to become mature enough.

I have been bullied during Secondary School, just because I was quiet and bigger than all the others, I was an easy target. But when I meet my bullies on the streets now and they still laugh at me( they still do!), I just laugh in myself and pity them, because they are still doing this while they're 23 years old. How low do you have to fall to still do that at that age? They just didn't take the next step to adulthood while everybody else is already a few steps ahead.

Trust me, I've been going through some hard years myself, and I've learned that being different is a good thing. There are billions of people on this earth. I don't want to be like 90% of this group. I don't want to be a person molded by our society, acting like all the others, living a life like all the others, having kids and a house like all the others, talking about the same things, thinking you are actually original while everybody else is doing the exact same thing.

I'm not saying that I'm going to live my life like an anarchist, but I just want to make a difference. I'm going to be a teacher next year, and I'll want to teach my students that being different is good and that you have to think for yourself instead of believing everything our society tells us.

And believe me when I say that there are also good people around. They are just hard to look for. If you can't find these people you can relate to and become good friends with, you are looking in the wrong place. I only had three friends during Secondary school. They were the 'freaky' people, but they were the best friends I could imagine. We all had the same way of thinking and we had the same interests. We didn't do the things all the others did, but we enjoyed ourselves even more.

But then we all went to College, and we didn't see each other much. I didn't have one friend I could really relate to in College. I became the 'freaky one' again soon during my first year. Now it's three years later, and I've finally found my match! During a music class, there was this quiet girl that was REALLY shy. I wanted to make it a bit enjoyable for her as well, so I started talking to her. In the beginning she was a bit distant, but after a while we started joking around and she turned out to be very witty with a nerdy edge. I saw her once every week during class, and soon we started hanging out with her friends. They all were nerdy, but they didn't care at all. In the beginning I was a bit scared as well, because I'm shy as well and I don't like meeting a bunch of new people at one time. But they accepted me immediately, saying that people like me are always welcome. They were the nicest people I met in years I learned from them that it's OK to be different and that it's even more fun when you can find people from your own 'kind' and come together. We all went to a Japanese convention two days ago, in cosplay, and there I saw that there are way more people that are like me. You just have to look for them.

Sorry for the long post 😊

ida92 • 29 September 2015 at 11:59 AM

@stefrawr I totally agree with what you just said... I have been bullied and made fun of for almost 9 years of school.. I was always thought of as being "different" . Just because I was a very shy and sensitive child. This has caused me to have depressions and several anxiety disorders.. Now I'm 23, I'm on therapy and I'm taking medicine. Some of the medicine I take cause my body to put on waight. I hardly eat anything these days and I'm still overwaight. I keep hearing from people that I'm fat and lazy and that It's only my fault that I have those extra kilograms. No one even thinks that I work like a horse ( I have a job that requires a lot of energy and physical excersise ) and I go to dance classes 3 times a week. For some people I'm still just some miserable, lazy, overweight girl... People judge too fast.

stefrawr • 29 September 2015 at 2:45 PM

Thank all of you. I can relate to you guys all in more ways then one. You guys don't know how much your words mean to me. I gave up on this post cause I thought no one cares. You guys are great. Thank you so much. @ida92 @glacias @monsterdrool

ida92 • 29 September 2015 at 3:29 PM

@stefrawr You're never alone. Even if you think you are, you must remember that somewhere in the world there are people that will understand you. Maybe you'll never meet them, maybe you'll never even speak to them...but they exist.

glacias • 29 September 2015 at 3:31 PM

@stefrawr

I'm so glad that I could help you 😊