:(

metaphor • 6 November 2011 at 1:16 PM

I kind of agree with the thing about perfectly fine looking girls complaining about how they look, but I guess they're entitled to insecurities too.

briseis • 6 November 2011 at 1:17 PM

@metaphor not really. If they're physically attractive they have no reason to complain about their physical issues if they have none.

metaphor • 6 November 2011 at 1:20 PM

As I said, I kind of agree. =/ But it's not so much who's doing the complaining that's bothering me. It's usually because 80% of the time they KNOW they look good and they want people to jump all over them "OMG DON'T BE SILLY GIRL YOU'RE SO HOT!"

briseis • 6 November 2011 at 1:22 PM

@metaphor right, that's usually how it is. They know they're attractive, but they need extra attention. It makes girls like me, who are below a 5 on the 1-10 scale (in my case, below a 3) feel even worse. We shouldn't complain, but when we see beautiful girls complaining it makes us feel worse because it makes us believe there is something even more wrong with us.

metaphor • 6 November 2011 at 1:26 PM

I have a friend who does that sometimes. And you know she's just fishing for compliments because one minute she'll be looking in mirror praising herself for her body, and the next she'll be whining that she's so fat. -___-

tawolf • 6 November 2011 at 1:27 PM

@briseis Earlier you gave a bit of advice something like this: "Don't even put any time and effort into it, wait until you're older. People become a little more mature" I think that maybe the same bit applies to you 😊 The way you say it, it sounds like there are people at your school who are too immature to notice and appreciate you, which is their loss because you sound like a really caring and compassionate person. Your happiness will come someday when you find a mature group who realize that life isn't about who's popular and so forth, it's about the journey and the friends who take it with you. I'll stop ranting now, cuz I know your probably a little angry at me, but I remain optimistic for you 😊

Deleted • 6 November 2011 at 1:27 PM

I found a letter I wasn't supposed to ever know about(obviously) while on the computer, and now I'm like OCD watching my parents because of what it said.....
That and something from my past that completely ruined a good part of my family/life that is mainly al my fault....

briseis • 6 November 2011 at 1:31 PM

@tawolf I have no reason to be angry at you. The advice I gave was to a 9th grader; I'm a 12th grader, a senior. Most people are mature and "nice", but a few still aren't. The guys, however, aren't interested in girls like me. Girls that rank a 2 or 3 on the 1-10 scale, girls who, despite their best efforts, can't lose weight no matter how hard they try. Girls who aren't physically appealing to look at. It's hard when all men are like that, no matter how old they are. I don't know; it doesn't ever seem like things will change or "get better" as everyone else claims it to.

@icicle_9510 what letter was it? I'm just curious!

tawolf • 6 November 2011 at 1:52 PM

@briseis I saw the circumstances of the advice, I just wanted to remind you 😊 Im a Senior too, I actually transferred to this school this year from a different country, so I have a lot of catching up to do. Ive been in school for about three months, so I understand what you mean when you say things don't seem to get better. But Ive made a lot of new friends since being here, and seen a lot of cool things. Joining clubs and other organizations can help with poor feelings as well as volunteering which definitely helps to raise someone's spirits no matter the problem. I know for a fact that running and tennis can really takes someone's mind off the day 😉 I know this isn't very good advice, this is just my story with a few examples thrown in. But again I remain optimistic for you! You'll find your happiness, they always do ❤️ Take care!

Deleted • 6 November 2011 at 6:33 PM

@briseis
Stop caring. It takes a few years of effort, but you can do it. All it takes it the ability to say to yourself that the opinions of these people don't matter.

I used to care about what others think about me. In 6th grade. Now it's 8th grade, and some girl can be going off next to me about my mother and how I'm so ugly and how I wear horrible clothes and I'll be calmly working away on my schoolwork. All it takes is some mental discipline.

Have you thought about therapy? I've been wanting to see a therapist for the past few weeks, because I have my own problems. So yeah. Maybe you should get help, or talk to a friend, or something. It doesn't have to be a real-life friend, remember; It can be an online friend.

And please take action instead of just whining about it on Egg Cave. This is the third topic of this sort I've seen on Egg Cave. Either take everyone's advice, or go somewhere else. Please and thank you.

taffy789 • 6 November 2011 at 6:45 PM

@briseis
-Hahah, i'm a -1 one the scale of beauty. ^^
I don't know, i'm just... immuned to sadness. ^^

I guess it's all about.... finding hope in the hopelessness, finging light when there's no sun.
Just find happiness in the small things in life. 😱

For me, a nice cool breeze after running, a fresh meal, and those times when your favorite song comes on over the radio, and you're with people who don't care if you start to sing horribly along to it. ❤️

whitefall • 6 November 2011 at 8:03 PM

People don't put me on the beauty scale...
Not that I'm at ugly as a cockroach or anything, but they don't really consider me, ya know?

I guess I'd be like a 6.
Because first, everyone LOVES blondes -_-
And I'm Asian (Indian, to be exact) so I'm not really what they're looking for so I get bumped down a bit.

But I don't care. (:
People like me for my personality...
SO that's fine. 😃

Deleted • 6 November 2011 at 8:35 PM

I like to think I'm pretty even though I'm slightly overweight. xD I have a nice face except I don't like my jawline. D:

briseis • 6 November 2011 at 9:04 PM

@whitefall at least you're not a 2 or 3 😊. That's what I am. It's kind of sad to rate yourself in that way, but I'm being honest. My mom tries to deny that I'm overweight and unattractive; she even suggested I was smaller than my friend, who's about 15lbs lighter than me with a smaller bone frame. She's in denial; at least I'm being truthful to myself, even if it's painful.

Deleted • 6 November 2011 at 9:18 PM

@briseis
If you don't mind me asking, can I see a picture of you? If you want, I'll show you me, too.

briseis • 6 November 2011 at 9:26 PM

@ijilleh hmm...maybe by private message?

Deleted • 6 November 2011 at 9:28 PM

@briseis
Okay.

*Edit*
Got the picture. Let me list the things that ARE NOT wrong with you:
-You have nice hair. I'd compare the color to honey.
-You have a decent figure. While not exactly anorexic, at least you aren't shaped like a square, or a blob, or anything. No one's expecting you to be a stick.
-You have a nice face. It doesn't exactly go with your style of clothing. (I honestly think you would look good in goth-ish clothing, but maybe that's just me. xD)

The only complaint I have is that your glasses don't go well with your face. 😱

dreamer • 6 November 2011 at 9:38 PM

@Briseis Don't put yourself down because of your looks! I do that to myself all the time, and it makes me feel bad.

Since I'm *almost* 12 and weigh like 140 pounds, I think I look awful but my mom says I have a nice figure for my body, kinda the same situation as you; Hating how you look but wth a mother who's in denial of you being overweight.

Because I know I am, I try to look good.

On a 1/10 scale, I'd give myself a 4; Bump up to 5 because I'm more mature-looking than a lot of kids in my grade, then bump up to 6 just because I'm a blondie. xD

But I don't like rating myself like that.

Just remember; Everyone is beautiful in their own way, and the beauty is on your inside. If people can see into your heart and know who you truly are, they are real freinds. If they always point out your looks, they aren't the right people to be around. So don't put yourself down so much because you don't like your own looks. Everyone is beautifu in their own way, and people who say otherwise are too shallow.

Just be yourself, and don't toss yourself around and critique every little detail. Nobody's perfect, no one ever will be. If you are a fun person and act positive towards yourself, other people will want to be around you. That's just the way it works. 😊

ninja • 6 November 2011 at 9:39 PM

Oh come one now, are we really rating how we look? e.e

trish • 6 November 2011 at 9:42 PM

I pity myself because the reasons I'm depressed are things that make me feel like one of those IT girls. -.-'
Except one private matter.

mightyeglantine • 6 November 2011 at 9:44 PM

@briseis
I looked on the INTERWEB and found this number..... 602-248-TEEN ... The number is from Teen Lifeline for Depressed teens in need of help and a person to talk to they have trained teen Peer Counselors available from 3 - 9pm Daily.

Deleted • 6 November 2011 at 9:47 PM

@ninja
Apparently.

Here's a little quote:

"'Fat' is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her

I mean, is 'fat' really the worst thing a human being can be? Is 'fat' worse than 'vindictive', 'jealous', 'shallow', 'vain', 'boring' or 'cruel'? Not to me; but then, you might retort, what do I know about the pressure to be skinny? I'm not in the business of being judged on my looks, what with being a writer and earning my living by using my brain?

I went to the British Book Awards that evening. After the award ceremony I bumped into a woman I hadn't seen for nearly three years. The first thing she said to me? 'You've lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you!'

'Well,' I said, slightly nonplussed, 'the last time you saw me I'd just had a baby.'

What I felt like saying was, 'I've produced my third child and my sixth novel since I last saw you. Aren't either of those things more important, more interesting, than my size? But no, my waist looked smaller! Forget the kid and the book: finally, something to celebrate!
I'd rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny, a thousand things, before 'thin'. And frankly, I'd rather they didn't give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons." - J.K. Rowling