I need to talk.

dreamer • 8 March 2012 at 8:56 PM

</3

Sooooo.... I had a dance at school tonight. Just got back from it. This was the last dance of the year, and I wanted to ask my crush to dance with me. They played three or four slow songs:

1st song: Was gonna ask him, but couldn't find him.
2nd song: Saw him, but started freaking out.
3rd song: Saw him once, but he went in the crowd and disappeared. Didn't see him again.
Near the end, they played "It Will Rain." Fourth song. I went to look for him once more, but couldn't find him. When I finally did, he was dancing with another girl. I looked right at him from afar, my eyes watering up, and he saw me. I ran away.

After that I just broke down. I don't think I've ever cried this much. I just leaned against the wall and slid down with my arms around my knees crying and sobbing. People kept asking me if I was okay. "NO, I'M NOT OKAY."

When the dance ended, I walked out and kept crying. I walked back in, saw my crush walked out the door, asked him "Why?" and walked off. I went back outside to wait for my mom to come and I saw my crush again, and he was calling my name. I just turned around. And his friend's dad came and they walked away.

skylark • 8 March 2012 at 8:58 PM

</3

phoenixfox • 8 March 2012 at 9:01 PM

;_;

briseis • 8 March 2012 at 9:02 PM

Sucks.

qwaszx • 8 March 2012 at 9:09 PM

I'm sorry. </3 Today, my crush told me who his crush was. D: The most popular girl in school. I could never match up to her.☹️

jaidyn • 8 March 2012 at 9:11 PM

@dreamer

I don't even know who my crush likes. SO MANY PEOPLE think he likes me, and they might be right, but I don't think so...The same thing would happen to me if I were at that dance. DX

dreamer • 8 March 2012 at 9:13 PM

@Qwaszx I hate popular girls. No watter what people say. Maybe one or two might be considered nice, but they'll just attention thieves. They get all the guys to fall for 'em and no one else has a good chance.

The thing is I don't know who my crush was dancing with... I just saw his arms around someone's waist and someone's hand on his shoulders. Even though he was looking right at me when I began to cry. I just ran away. tHe last thing I wanted was for him to know I'm weak.

I had to let him know that I felt so strongly for him. And one word was enough to do it. But finally he reached out to me, and I just ignored him. It's my fault now.

toy • 8 March 2012 at 9:16 PM

Sorry.

qwaszx • 8 March 2012 at 9:28 PM

@dreamer I just stared at him until he said "Um, Audrey?" and then I said in a really shaky voice, "Oh... Yeah she's nice." I hope he didn't see it. I can't tell anyone I like them I just can't.

dreamer • 8 March 2012 at 9:35 PM

@Qwaszx I've been wanting this since September. I don't know what I want... I just... *want it*. It's hard to explain. I'm pretty sure he already knows I like him, I just need to know how he feels.

I know he's not the type who would turn me down... And he doesn't hate me either... So I don't know.

I'm going to an eye doctor tomorrow morning. Possibly getting glasses. So I might log off al ittle early, just to think about how many lives I've already ruined and try not to screw up any more.

trish • 8 March 2012 at 9:37 PM

@dreamer At least he called your name...? Look at the PM I sent you. I can relate.

dreamer • 8 March 2012 at 9:39 PM

@Trish Yeah, I know. He called my name. I'm pretty sure I heard "Dani! Dani!" I turned around and he was looking right at me, with that "I really need to talk to you" anticipation on his face. I just... Turned my back on him and he had to leave. Couldn't say anymore. At this point that's why I really feel responsible. I'm not blaming Ben, or whatever girl he danced with, or any of my friends, or any of Ben's friends. This is all me. My fault.

qwaszx • 8 March 2012 at 9:40 PM

@dreamer It? *coughcough* xD *smacked* No guy will ever like me. Ever. I'm gonna die alone. >.<

All the guys I've liked, either don't know who the heck I am or don't care who I am. Yay. :/

I have glasses. They're not so bad. Once you get over them falling down your nose and little smudges in your vision. ._.

hedwig68 • 8 March 2012 at 9:45 PM

@dreamer

that sucks i hope that everything will turn out right and you never know what might happen *wink*

balletninja • 8 March 2012 at 9:49 PM

@qwaszx Well he is being unrealistic.
Do you know what kind of girlfriends popular girls make?
Physical girlfriends.
Meaning they do all the physicality whims.
And you know what happens?
They get pregnant.
And when the guys are forced to marry them due to the child you know what kind of wives they make?
Stay-at-home yoga-mom wives.
And those are the most EVIL creatures on earth.
The ones like in dance moms and toddlers and tiaras.

I find that guys who date the kinda weird girls get the best results.
You know all the celebs?
They were kinda weird during middle school and high school.
They are all unique and genuine.
Popular people may be called "nice" but it is because they gossip to everyone thus making you feel included.
But just as easily they can turn around and gossip about you. ☹️

bunnyshadow • 8 March 2012 at 9:56 PM

What?!? D: Popular girls are nice... *coughs*

hedwig68 • 8 March 2012 at 9:57 PM

@balletninja I agree with you
i know from experience....my sister wanted to become grown up to fast. she moved away and i heard nothing from her until i got a message saying that she had just had a baby at 18! now she lives with her new fiance in a cute house with pratically no money and is fighting for rights over her child with her ex.

rawrcookies08 • 8 March 2012 at 9:58 PM

@qwaszx @dreamer I think that this is actually okay. Even though these guys are all you can think about right now, they probably aren't going to marry you or anything when you grow up. And qwaszx, you aren't going to die single, because the guy who you'll marry is one who's going to like you for who you are. 😊

The reason I don't have a boyfriend is because if I did, our "relationship" isn't going to be one that'll last forever, let alone a couple years, probably. 😊

dreamer • 8 March 2012 at 10:01 PM

@Qwaszx *facepalm* No. I didn't mean it that way. xD I just want him. For who he is. I've felt like this for a while.

Every day, today especially, I feel like I'm getting closer and closer, but so far away at the same time. :/ I really have to set things straight on Monday. So I'm gonna talk to him and make sure he doesn't hold a grudge or that he hasn't misunderstood this. He. Has. To. Know. I've waited since September of *last year*, I just didn't really confess until a year later. So I really have to do this the right way, for once.

balletninja • 8 March 2012 at 10:10 PM

@dreamer
I guess I never cry, I just hold it inside and don't take it personally.
Wanna hear a lil' story to make it a bit better?
Here we go:

One night, I went to a mixer with friends.
I don't dance with guys because it is disgusting.
I saw my crush though dancing with other girls.
Well I have seen both of my crushes dance with other girls.
But the one that night looked me square in the eye,
I didn't cry, I just gave him a look of disgust.
I guess I on't let it get to me because the girls who dance with guys like that need the confidence boost more than me.
It is sad.

But really, don't take it personally.
He is a guy with too many pheromones,
don't take any guy too seriously right now.
They just make you feel stupid for loving an immature guy.

qwaszx • 8 March 2012 at 10:16 PM

@Balletninja *shudder* Those moms on TaT scare me. XD They act like their kids. >.> I don't know why I bother with guys. I'm not even allowed to date yet. XDDD

@rawrcookies08 I will die alone. No one likes me. >.<

@dreamer Lol. XD Good luck on Monday. I fail at that kinda thing. .-.

dreamer • 8 March 2012 at 10:18 PM

@Balletninja Yeah, I know.
When I got in the car, I was crying, I wouldn't say a single word the whole way home. Just tears and sobbing. I talked to my mom personally and she said not to let it get to me.
But it's so hard...
Everytime I look at his face, hear his voice. I see an amazing guy, hiding behind the pressure that his friends put upon him. Really.
I've heard his 'friends' talking about how many times they could make him cry, braggin about it.
THey say he's a horrible demanding person when they're the ones who are.
I used to always sit near him (before I liked him) and hear him crack jokes with his friends. Hilarious jokes.
And I saw him tonight, dancing with his friends when rap songs came on. It made me smile laugh, tear up out of joy.
He's just so nice, so smart, but at the same time, he's so... So...
Boyish.
Obviously.
I've kinda collected myself now, but I know this is gonna bother me for a while.
I'll forget about it until I can straighten it out between him and I. ;] I know he could be a great guy, with the right girl.

rawrcookies08 • 8 March 2012 at 11:16 PM

@qwaszx Haha, that's not true! 😊 And if you still think it is, no one likes you YET.

But your EC buddehs think your awesome 😊

dreamer • 9 March 2012 at 11:58 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wJXgqkvB9s

^ Pretty much describes how I feel.

"Hands over my head, thinking what else could go wrong?"
"Never beleive that things happen for a reason."
Most importantly:
"For you I'd do it over again do it all over again, all I went thorugh, led me to you, so I do it all over again... For you."

muffiny • 9 March 2012 at 12:22 PM

@dreamer

☹️ </3 Boys are jerks

dreamer • 9 March 2012 at 12:24 PM

@Muffiny They're still nice. They're just... misunderstnading I guess, that's all. They think of us girls the way we think of them.

At this point I'm just apologizing and confessing. I'm not extremely upset right now.

I was wrong, the way I acted, and I have even more to fix.

muffiny • 9 March 2012 at 12:26 PM

@dreamer

No trust me on this one, most guys are jerks, until you find the one that isnt 😊 But if you really like this guy, then you should call him and talk to him.

sanibel_18 • 9 March 2012 at 12:41 PM

@dreamer

☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

@balletninja

i think dancing with boys is disgusting too.😱

cafe • 9 March 2012 at 1:07 PM

I think dancing with a boy is fine, if they dance with class. I'm sorry, I don't care how much of a crush I have on you, I ain't rubbin my bottom on your crotch >_>


By class, I mean dancing face to face, and dancing, not "Booty popping" and slow dances.

@Dreamer

He may or may not be the one who you end up with; but if he is the one I'm sure he'll forgive you and all this will straighten out 😸

dreamer • 9 March 2012 at 1:14 PM

@Cafe Everyone danced with class. Most people had a dance partner, but others didn't. O.O

He's never held a grudge on anyone, from what I've heard.

All I need to do on Monday is give him an apology. Poor kid might not even know what he did wrong. tHen again, he already knows how I feel, os maybe he figured out why I was upset. The tihng that's on my mind is the fact that I ignored him when he reached out.

I have some explaining to do. xD