Pet Rocks for Sale!

in Chit-Chat

Male
1,566 posts

     

jello • 24 June 2017 at 9:47 PM

Pet Rocks for Sale!

Do you dream of owning a glorious, magnificent, marvelous pet rock?
Do you go to sleep by counting pet rocks?
Did you grow up as a kid with a passion, a desire for a pet rock?

If you said yes to any of these questions, WELL, WE'RE THE PLACE FOR YOU!

Our splendid pet rocks are one of a kind, unique, and on sale, for this weekend only!
Our numerous safety ratings and guarantees include:

Gluten-free
Hypoallergenic
Not a choking hazard
Ages 5-105

Send two easy payments of 3,950 1,975 to @Moss and your pet rock will surely be delivered within 8-14 work days!

You can also buy a tracking chip to be included in your package for an additional 3,495 , in case your pet rock happens to roam or go missing.


Jelli's Pet Rocks, inc.

Two-Spirit
1,432 posts

     

wolfboy • 24 June 2017 at 10:47 PM

@jellifysh

I shall sue this fake service, as everyone will have 0/5 star ratings.

- Togepi

7 posts

     

moss • 24 June 2017 at 11:06 PM

@togepi360

We at Jelli's Pet Rocks, inc. apologize for your dissapointment in our product. We are working day and night to improve our product, and seek satisfaction a result in all our customers.

Best regards,
-Mark

1,852 posts

     

purgatory • 24 June 2017 at 11:13 PM

@moss
@jellifysh


As a curious shopper, I would like to ask about a few things.

One, are these waterproof? I live UNDER THE SEA so I wouldn't want the "pet rock" to drown.

Two, are these edible? I live in a mountain full of hungry turnips so I was wondering wether to leave it out or lock it in.

Three, the following questions above claim that I live under the sea on top of a mountain full of hungry turnips, but I totes live under a tree. Are the rocks suitable for shelter, since I would like to live under a rock someday.

Oh, I already live under a rock.





And what even are pet rocks



What is my life

Male
1,566 posts

     

jello • 24 June 2017 at 11:20 PM

@ammolite Thank you for your query in our product. Your questions help keep our business alive!

1. Yes, they are waterproof!

2. Our rocks are pulled from the genus petramus. Hungry turnips have a distaste for rocks from the petramus genus, and are more fond of rocks of the murexus genus.

3. In your current habitat, your pet rock will have no natural predators, except for waves. Keep your pet rock safe so the water doesn't take it anywhere.

Best regards,
-Chris

Two-Spirit
1,432 posts

     

wolfboy • 24 June 2017 at 11:21 PM

@moss

Uh, okay?

Female
1,051 posts

     

raccoon • 24 June 2017 at 11:52 PM

@jellifysh

My pet rock ran away, what did I do wrong?

Male
1,566 posts

     

jello • 25 June 2017 at 12:11 AM

@raccoon
Our pet rocks are adaptive to their environments, and may act and aspire to be like everyone else. Now, they don't have much complex adaptive processing systems, so the attempts are ill and futile. In such event, your pet rock will likely be within a 2-mile radius. Thank you for your feedback, and just for that, we'll develop a locating chip to be included with the pet rocks at a small fee. And, due to your troubles, we'll send you your chip for free!

Best regards,
-Chris

Female
4,917 posts

     

Orderedchaos • 25 June 2017 at 12:47 AM

As this is not an actual trade topic I've moved this to a more suitable place.

Female
3,156 posts

     

sparklefox • 25 June 2017 at 8:27 AM

@jellifysh - What are the dietary requirements of these pet rocks? Is there any special equipment / toys / anything else that I'd need to purchase before acquiring one?

Male
1,566 posts

     

jello • 25 June 2017 at 10:50 AM

@sparklefox Our pet rocks absorb sunlight or heat and convert it to fuel. Your pet rock does not require toys, but it would be recommended to play with your pet.

Best regards,
-Caleb

Female
219 posts

     

mythlight • 1 July 2017 at 10:57 AM

@jellifysh
Hello! I will buy one of your rocks. Just a few questions:
1. Do I have to vaccinate my rock? And what kind of sicknesses can rocks catch?
2. Are the rocks fully educated, or do I have to send them to school? And what are the ratings of local public/private schools for rocks?
3. What sort of rocks do you have to offer? I'm looking for one of the following:
-Flint
-Tourmaline
-Faceted chrysoberyl
-Limestone

Two-Spirit
1,432 posts

     

wolfboy • 1 July 2017 at 11:03 AM

@jellifysh

What colors do your rocks come in anyways XD

Deleted • 30 July 2017 at 7:57 PM

@jellyfish
Questions-
1. Can the pet rocks get sick, if so what sickness? ( i get sick a lot)
2. Can these pet rocks ride a horse? (i am a horse)
3. Can the pet rocks go underwater?(every once in a while i go for a swim)
4. Can the rocks talk?(i prefer company i can talk to)
5. Do the rocks come with names or can i name it?(i would like to call the rock what i want)
6. Do i have to send the rock to school? (i want a smart rock but i want it to come smart)
7. What color rocks do you have? (i would be interested in royal blue)

Male
1,566 posts

     

jello • 30 July 2017 at 9:04 PM

@sasser334


neon

Female
132 posts

     

vos • 30 July 2017 at 11:23 PM

@jello

I have a working pet rock! A neighbour drew a cat on what looks like a large smooth grey pebble to use to stop the door from banging shut in the wind!

Male
1,566 posts

     

jello • 30 July 2017 at 11:37 PM

error


shop has gone down due to extre@vos me amounts of volcanic activity near base.

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