Night ruined :(

ayuzawa • 28 October 2011 at 5:13 AM

@ijilleh

whaddya mean?

elluwah • 28 October 2011 at 5:25 AM

I wasn't planning on posting on here. And then I saw how many posts there were, and how much people were insulting themselves through it. I know we're all supposed to have "let it drop" by now, but new people are going to read this and want their say, and people from earlier will want to get a response in too.

Not speaking on terms of the male species, but on terms of society in general. I have social anxiety, and it's gotten to the point where I cannot step out of the house without panic attacks. This was brought on from my own lack of confidence, at my appearence. And it's been YEARS. I've wasted all of my teenage life being scared of people, so I think it's fair to say I can understand the feeling of thinking people don't like you. Never liked by any guy, etc etc.

And I'm not gonna lie, I hate it. You can all say how much guys don't matter, but we all feel lonely at times. And I'm not going to tell anybody here to "get over it", or to just "do something", or to "stop thinking this way"... because it's not as simple as that, ever.

I guess all I really wanted to post was that... I understand it all.
Life is freakin' hard! D:

metaphor • 28 October 2011 at 7:02 AM

@elluwah

Aw. *hugs*
I have bad social anxiety as well! I hate when we have to do group work, absolutely dread it unless there's someone in the class I can easily pair with. Even when people invite me to join their group, I feel like I have to be very, very careful not to mess up if I ever want to be invited over again.


But with practice, you can overcome it. Baby steps.😊

elluwah • 28 October 2011 at 7:12 AM

@metaphor Group work, urgh, I got all panicky whenever the teacher used to say that. x_X But everybody in the class always knew I was the "quiet one who didn't like speaking", so they never even spoke to me. Which only made the SA worse. D:

The whole baby steps thing is what my friend has been suggesting for a while. And I've tried... LOL, I got on a bus this month for the first time in about 4 years, and spent the entire journey crying my eyes out over it. XD I can laugh about it now, because I'm not on a bus, but it's a dreadful, dreadful thing to live with. And overcoming it is going to be an emotionally draining process. D:

crazy4life • 28 October 2011 at 7:22 AM

@elluwah
I know how you feel to some degree. I have social anxiety too, though not that bad. Any little thing to my environment sends me into an attack. It is slowly starting to get better-mostly because I have no control over current events.
I work at a place were new staff filters through every couple of weeks-it always throws me off. Though I guess because I have no control to stop it (and quitting my job is not an option... dumb bills) I have gotten a little better.

What has worked for me is to find a way to force myself to do something through someone else. I can find twenty different excuses not to call so and so, but if I tell my sister that I well and have her standing right next to me until I make the call- it helps some.

The more I face it head on, the better it gets. I do also take a med that helps a bit with daily anxiety, but finding ways to force myself to do something has been the most helpful to me.

dionaea • 28 October 2011 at 7:31 AM

@elluwah

Wow... O.o

I guess I'm one of the few lucky ones who isn't popular but really doesn't give a ****. ☹️ I'm not goodlooking and guys wouldn't give me a second look under normal circumstances, but I just don't really care what people think about me.

I'm slightly autistic, as in I can get completely immersed in one subject until I find something else to throw myself onto and I don't really need much more. But what you're saying is true, everyone wants a friend sometimes and even I wonder what it would've been like if I'd gotten a boyfriend in highschool like happens in the Shoujo manga I love so much ☹️

People who say they don't EVER mind and have NEVER minded it are lying though. Even I, who doesn't care about boyfriends/marriage/kids, sometimes wonder about stuff like that and I did want a boyfriend when I was in Highschool, even had some crushes, but never the guts to confess X(